Somebody is under the very mistaken impression that having a Latina heroine in-and-of-itself makes racism go away. This is akin to the absurd assertion that being the party of Lincoln, the GOP can’t possibly be the party of racism. So let me set the record straight, just as Lincoln’s virtue runs completely counter to nearly everything the Republican party does these days, making Gina Rodriguez your heroine does not exonerate you from racism. Miss Bala describes dozens of Mexicans and to a person, every single one is a criminal, a victim, or a tool; that ain’t right.
Gloria (Rodriguez) takes some needed time off from being abused at work to be abused abroad. The El Lay makeup artist drives to Tijuana to help her friend Suzu win the Miss Baja beauty pageant. After seeing this film, I don’t know why anyone would compete in a Mexican beauty pageant. If every Mexican official on every level can and will be bribed, what’s the point? Seriously. To me, it’s like rooting for a non-Patriots team in the AFC; what’s the point? The pointless feeling is exaggerated by Rodriguez’s self-serving pout, replete for the first 90 minutes of film.
Adding injury to insult, Gloria’s pageant pal hits a club were she can butter up to the spectacle’s overlord, local Chief of Police Handsy Sanchez. (“Manos-y” Sanchez?) Like the edicts of Edward Longshanks, Handsy gets first dibs on the pageant winner. I’m sorry, why do you want to win this contest exactly? Luckily, the party is ruined when local gang Las Estrellas shows up for a massacre. Despite heavy weaponry and the element of surprise, the stars were not aligned for Las Estrellas. They flub the big hit; did they end up shooting anybody? In the ensuing chaos, however, Suzu is abducted (by whom?) and Gloria’s attempts to get her back go awry when she discovers the police are in bed with Las Estrellas.
At this point in the narrative, Gloria is essentially the property of gang leader, Lino (Ismael Cruz Cordova). The game then becomes, “we don’t have your friend, but if you ever want to see her alive again, you’ll do everything I say.” What a fun game of Simón Says, huh?
It was painful watching, hoping, pleading for Gloria to turn in to Miss Bala, the badass AK-47 pageant gown queen the trailer promised. Coercive motivation is among my least favorite plots, as are “I had to do it; they were holding hostage my friend/daughter/mother/lover/dog/garden gnome” sub-plots. But this film wasn’t a winner without that noise, nor if it presented a non-MAGA depiction of Mexicans. And the fact that Miss Bala is essentially more MAGA propaganda? Ugh.
Last year, I joked tongue-in-cheek about how Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado would be used on “Hannity” as proof of terrorist infiltration through our southern border. No, I didn’t think Sean Hannity or Fox News would actually do this – not because they’re above it, but because it’s so easily debunked as fictional. Little did I suspect the idiocy would go the step above Fox News; President Trump actually used moments from Sicario 2 as talking points to push for his need for a wall. Go ahead and look it up; without specifically naming Sicario 2, he frequently described scenes from it as anecdotal proof of terrorism penetrating the United States via Mexico. Hence, the constant cinematic description of Mexico as a land of evil has become a bigger issue. You see, if you are inclined to imagine all Mexicans as rapists and terrorists and the only exposure you have to relationships between citizens of the United States and those in Mexico come in the form of Sicario 2, The Mule, or Miss Bala, sure, you’re gonna believe Mexico is a country of lawless depravity 24/7. It’s a tad on the irresponsible side, no?
Gina Rodriguez becomes Mistress Bala
Kicking ass from El Lay to Guatemala
The depictions of cringe
Are Gospel to the fringe
It’s comic until Cap’n Orange wants a walla
Rated PG-13, 104 Minutes
Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Writer: Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer
Genre: Perpetuating your insecurities about Mexicans
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Judging by the pre-trailer interview reel, Gina Rodriguez … which is good, cuz I can’t see anybody else loving this film
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Mexicans, I imagine
