Only one of the six tales is musical. Is that what qualifies as a musical these days? Geez, you see the cowboy wear, the imdb genre, and add an Oscar nod for best song and you’d think this was The Wicked Which of the West. No such luck, Broadway-philes. But this is definitely a film by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen. There’s no mistaking the violence, irony, and dark humor told in these adapted short stories. I’m going to list them in chronological order and give each a grade. I’m also going to ignore their given titles and call them what I thought of them:
The Legend of Bagger Vance. Oops, that’s The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Tim Blake Nelson plays the titular roaming, singing, all-white clad angel of death. Buster’s happy-go-lucky cowboy countenance contrasts with his handy and deadly shooting skills – this might be worth the price of admission alone. In fact, this tale is only about 15 minutes long and the film is on Netflix. What have you got to lose to by watching only the first? When Buster goes looking for sport, he assumes a poker hand of Aces over Eights. I don’t play poker and even I know that’s bad news. My question is: if a bully forces you to play somebody’s hand at poker, why can’t you say, “Ok. I fold?” A-
- The Pot-man Calling the Cattle-man. I should point out that each of these tales is introduced by a hand opening the book The Ballad of Buster Scruggs to a new and semi cryptic illustration –very early 20th century novel fashion- depicting a drawing of something we are going to see in the tale ahead. The illustration for this one was a shotgun-wielding man draped entirely in an outfit of frying pans taunting, “Pan shot!” Ummm, ok. James Franco is a bank robber who’s met his match in
stapler-clad, sorry, pan-clad teller Stephen Root. I wasn’t entirely satisfied with how this one played out, but it did yield an excellent meme at the conclusion. B+
- “Art.” As in the answer to: “What has no arms and no legs and gives oratory performances on stage?” Liam Neeson and limbless Dudley Dursley (Harry Melling — Dudders! Is that you? Didn’t recognize you without all the bulk … and limbs. You found post-Potter work? Good on you, mate!) have a Ladyhawke-type relationship where during the night, performance artist Dudley takes the limelight from town-to-town and delivers a one-man show of famous speeches, while during the day, Liam does all the work of driving, organizing, feeding, and living for the pair. The two never have a conversation. Dudley only talks on stage; Liam only talks during the down-time. This was my least favorite story of the six and I darn-near stopped watching the film entirely when the climax hit. D+
- I’ve Got a Golden Pocket. Tom Waits is a prospector all on his own in virgin lands. I wouldn’t want to follow Tom Waits for a tale longer than 15 minutes, to be sure. I sure don’t need to see him treat a potential gold vein as a family member (i.e. “Good night, Mr. Pocket”). If nothing else here, I learned a bit about prospecting. C+
- Death Train. In the longest and most moving of the tales, Zoe Kazan has the unfortunate predicament of being saddled with an idiot, her brother, and his terrible yipping dog named President Pierce. All three are on a wagon train to Oregon when we realize the brother has made promises he cannot keep and Zoe will have to pay for them. Zoe Kazan may just be my favorite actress you’ve never heard of and nothing about this performance will move me from that assessment. Like a wagon train itself, this tale moves slow, but its destination is well worth the trip. A-
- The Hateful Five. The least considered tale of the six is, unfortunately, the last. Hateful is just five middle-aged adults having a conversation in the body of a horse-drawn carriage. The dialogue is reasonable, and I always enjoy Tyne Daly and Brendan Gleeson, but feel free to move about the cabin, because not a single plot point will enter at any given time. C-
There must be a style to making a short story collection. I mean, we know why film-makers choose the short story format: none of the stories would stand on their own if lengthened for full-feature display. That is certainly true here of all but Death Train. And yet, most purveyors of this format will edit so you can’t tell that the scripts are half-assed. The Coen’s have a different take – cut back on the plot points, but bolster the script. In this way, the stories are virtually unspliceable for lack of action, but perhaps more easily swallowed and appreciated because of superior dialogue. I must say I didn’t like all the stories, but I sure as heck remember each of the six far better than Inside Llewyn Davis.
♪Oh give me a tome
To adapt for a home
On Netflix, and play there all day
With songs of the West
A slick watch-chained vest
And vignettes in great disarray♫
Rated R, 133 Minutes
Director: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen
Writer: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Genre: The Wild West, Coen-style
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Buster Scruggs
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Native Americans
♪ Parody Inspired by “Home on the Range”
