On July 20, 1969, men first walked on the moon, hence indirectly birthing an entirely new era of Flat Earth conspiracy theorists. These brave folks, born out of an achievement that dwarfs anything previous in human history, have the amazing ability to deny anything so long as it’s the truth. Bless you; like polio or the measles, idiocy couldn’t die without you guys.
If you’re like me, you know the basic details of the moon landing without having more than one or two visual clues in your brain. This documentary fills the gaps. With almost no exposition, Apollo 11 sates brain cells previously occupied by imagination-only with visual documentation of the days surrounding the mission that first put men on the moon. I gotta ask, Flat Earth people, do you have any idea how much trouble it would be to fake all this? Not to mention the moon landing was verified by enemies of the United States; do you honestly think the USSR gave the Cold War a two week time-out so that Americans could feel good about themselves? The details of the moon landing were indeed verified by Russians among other space-looking peoples. You’d have an easier time convincing me that OJ was framed.
This is a fascinating collection of time-relevant footage. With little fanfare and no narration, Apollo 11 gives us behind-the-scenes looks at the everything Cape Canaveral (at the time known as Cape Kennedy): there are Neil, Buzz, and Michael. There are the folks who built the rocket, designed the rocket, flew in the rocket, and cheered on the rocket the morning it left planet Earth. Honestly? It looked a little like a dated burning man crowd. Yes, there are some problematic issues. The long shots of the control room are oft futile exercises in “spot the minority.” Some Hidden Figures were more Hidden than others.
And some of the footage is downright awesome. How did they get the distance shots from high up in the Earth’s atmosphere? And, yeah, I see how putting a camera in the rocket interior can get shots of the post-booster separation, but I didn’t expect actual video on the moon itself with anything resembling clarity. Even grainy, this is quite impressive stuff, as are the collection of pictures taken on the moon itself, especially considering the Selfie Stick wouldn’t be invented for another four decades.
There isn’t a true measure for how much you can learn from a simple documentary. I found myself fascinated with the mechanics of the trip –did you know the ship revolved around Earth once before taking off for the moon? The only superimposed figures on the footage are time and velocity numbers showing a spaceship approaching a threshold. Yes, this will get a little tedious, but try to appreciate the care with which this film was made. You might remember from First Man there’s a communications blackout upon reentry to the Earth. This is real; I looked it up. The communications blackout is caused by an envelope of ionized air around the spacecraft that fools with radio signals. For Apollo 11, the blackout was about three minutes long, which I daresay was among the longest three minutes ever experienced in the United States … and that includes the end of NBA playoff games.
Like They Shall Not Grow Old, Apollo 11 is an unapologetic window into history. This is it. This is what happened. This is how it went down. You don’t have to watch, but you might learn something if you do. I’m sure others will see this differently, but I would like you, my audience, to consider where the United States has come in fifty years. The fact that any of the following can even be interpreted in a political light by itself shows how far we’ve fallen as a culture. In 1969, we demonstrated not to the world, but to all of human history what man is capable of. Perhaps it was motivated by politics and perhaps it was pure folly, but damn if we didn’t travel to the moon and back. What standard of human achievement will best that? To reach this goal took untold bravery, coordination, effort, intelligence, vision, and openness of thought and spirit. And where are we now? Trying to build a wall? That’s what the culture who brought you the moon is doing? With the exception of effort and perhaps a bit of coordination, project wall is none of these things. And all it tells the world is “GET OUT AND STAY OUT!” Yeah, that’s some bravery, some imagination, some demonstration of human potential, jerks; we’ve gone from the people who showed caveman how to control fire to the cavemen who fear it. Well done, America. Well done, MAGA.
♪Film me on the moon
Let me simulate Star Wars
Let me golf and hop about
Like a child, on all fours
In other worlds, one small step
In other worlds, I’m Earth’s rep♫
Rated G, 93 Minutes
Director: Todd Douglas Miller
Writer: JFK (indirectly)
Genre: History! That we’re actually proud of!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Americans who lived through it
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Flat Earthers
♪ Parody Inspired by “Fly Me to the Moon”
