Cyrano de Bergerac is one of those timeless repeats of fiction. Of course, the kids these days have a new term for it; they call it “catfishing” and the emphasis is no longer a sympathy for the shy ugly duckling, but an empathy for the hunk or hunkess who is getting played. Also, catfishing ends badly. Always. Sniff that, big nose.
Sierra Burgess Is a Loser. There are no two ways around it. The high school band pariah has transformed her high IQ into exactly one nerdy platonic friend. She has gotten to the resigned stage of loserdom where she mostly feels sorry for her oppressors. Aw, where’s the fun in maturity? C’mon, give it back, Sierra: make that troll flunk a test, or put itching powder in her bra, or, y’know, just punch her in the face. Nah, Sierra (Shannon Purser) hasn’t the capacity for pettiness; she’s aiming for Stanford. That doesn’t stop mean girl Veronica (Kristine Froseth) from doing all things mean girls do to social lepers. The coup de grace of mean comes when the handsome QB of a rival football team asks Veronica for a date, and she hands out Sierra’s number.
The next scenes are crucial in deciding if you’ve got a winner or loser of a film and it’s all in how much the screenplay likes its characters. It’s one thing to set up an embarrassing situation, but how does does it pay off so that nobody looks the fool? Sierra knows she’s being set-up; she’s not stupid. But, honestly, what can she do? You can’t just dis the hunky All American of a rival football team, can you? I mean, sure on the scale of football scene cool, the dumpy gal who plays the mobile harpsichord in the opposing band rates exactly 0.001 (Cam) Newtons. So, he thinks he’s speaking to a cover girl cheerleader? What’s the harm, really? Don’t answer that.
QB Jamey (Noah Centineo) does legitimately enjoy their conversations; he’s going to be upset when he realizes he’s being catfished … especially if his shirtless poses go un-returned. Oh rats. He is legitimately a nice guy. Darnit. I’d feel better about this if I knew he had it coming. This is a tough call; we know Sierra is a catch, yet one that no high school boy will ever discover. So we want her to get some romance in her life, or even another friend to go with her platonic significant other, Dan (RJ Cyler). BUT, this is
just wrong.
Ok, how about Veronica? She gets a comeuppance, right? Oh, crap. She’s human, too. And we even visit her awful homelife when she and Sierra form an unlikely pact … what are you doing to me, movie? I want some villains, and I want them now.
Sierra Burgess Is a Loser was kind of a bell curve in movie form: flat on each end, but full in the middle. I liked Sierra and I struggled, reluctantly, to like Jamey and Veronica as well. I loved best friend Dan; I’m sorry there wasn’t more of him. But catfish movies either end poorly or unconvincingly, neither of which makes for a rousing success. Come to think of it, I wonder if Cyrano de Bergerac films all have this same resolution issue. Probably.
One teen snares the problems of two
When deceiving her S.O. brand new
The root of the crime
Catfishing sublime
Gives credence to, “It’s not me, it’s you.”
Rated PG-13, 105 Minutes
Director: Ian Samuels
Writer: Lindsay Beer
Genre: Cyrano de Roxanne
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Losers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The closed-minded
