Assholes have unfinished business? Well, of course they do. We probably should have seen that one coming. Show me a human turd and I’ll show you somebody who hasn’t yet hit every goal in their personal turd spectrum. Could assholery so intense go beyond the grave? Pretty sure the Republican Party is evidence that it most certainly can. I digress. Today’s film is about the reincarnation of a serial killer into the body of The Prodigy; a little boy who’s talents for learning are almost as acute as his gifts for inflicting pain.
In two seemingly unrelated stories, a woman is in labor while in the next state over a serial killer is being tracked by police. The woman gives birth at the exact time the police open fire and execute the serial killer … and the baby grows up to be the reincarnation of that very serial killer. I see. So, lemme get this straight if I may: there’s this evil serial killer dude, one so vile he likes to keep women’s hands as trophies before executing them. And just as he dies, his consciousness -suddenly untethered by a living corporeal existence- travels across state lines to set up shop in a newly birthed baby, is that correct? So this is like a Voldemort thing, is that it?
And when the child shows exceptional abilities, do we chalk that up to “smart child” or “it’s actually an adult in a child’s body?” How about when the child starts speaking an obscure Hungarian dialect in his sleep? Is that Baby Einstein talking … a result of the Mozart you played in his crib or actually an adult wearing a child suit? And this adult with such a continued need for pain and suffering? Given a second chance at being a child didn’t solve his issues? Having two nurturing parents this time around didn’t psychologically whack the dude’s Rorschachs from beasts to bunnies? No? Oh, well, it’s your movie. Just tellin’ ya now: it don’t make much sense.
Miles (Jackson Robert Scott) is just your average prodigal genius. Mom and dad (Taylor Schilling and Peter Mooney) are so proud! So the kid likes to play 2nd degree pranks on the babysitter, who doesn’t? Torturing pets and planning deadly revenge on “the one that got away,” it’s all good fun. So long as the kid doesn’t start rooting for the New England Patriots; now that is true evil.
About thirty minutes in, Miles stops being The Prodigy and starts being The Problem. Mom starts noticing when she lovingly checks on her sleeping child and the dozing child manages to sleep-cuss at her in the voice of a veteran truck driver. Oh, junior is just so precocious; what a dickens! For some reason, mom is alarmed when the dog turns up bolted in a crawl space with its throat cut. Boys will be boys, amIright? What?! You’re taking action?! Is this what they call “helicopter parenting?”
The Prodigy doesn’t bring much to the table; the plot is taken from parts of The Omen, Fallen, and Ouija: Origin of Evil. And the odds are very good you’ll emerge from the film thinking less of human kind than you thought before … if that is possible. But … aw, Hell. “But” nothing. I’m not gonna defend this crap. The Prodigy sucked.
Do we need to examine our kid’s wrath?
I question in the aftermath
What meaning inferred
When junior proffered
He was gonna give the dog a “red bath”
Rated R, 92 Minutes
Director: Nicholas McCarthy
Writer: Jeff Buhler
Genre: Fear everything. Including your own children
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Parents of monsters
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Responsible adults
