Middle age sucks. And who knows this better than any actress suddenly paired with John Turturro. Hit the lottery there, huh ladies? “Yeah, I used to twirl Lebowski around my pinky toe, but now if this neurotic John shows interest, I’m all in.” Sigh.
The titular Gloria Bell (Julianne Moore) doesn’t seem to be getting much out of life these days. I suspect this is true of most recent divorcées. Her dead-end corporate job is mostly a reminder that her peers are stuck in the same hamster wheel. Her adult children are busy making questionable choices. No, it’s not like they’re going the “crack whore” route, but son Peter (Michael Cera) seems to care more about his iPhone than his infant, and daughter Anne (Caren Pistorius) has fallen for a Swede who makes a living as an international surfer. The highlights of her half-empty glass of life include a local bar/disco, where on a good night she can, maybe, dance her blues away.
One day, Arnold (Turturro) shows up at her fav nightspot. This is indeed what it has come down to. Woman as pretty a Julianne Moore suddenly finds satisfactory -and even encouraging- the attentions of Herbie Stempel from Quiz Show. Arnold dives right in; he knows when he’s got it good. The problem with paint ball range owning Arnold is that while he is divorced, he is not “divorced. ” Hence, Arnold continues to give priority attention to his clingy ex-wife and two adult daughters, none of whom do anything but wait to see when they can get Arnold’s attention.
And this is the film, pretty much in its entirety. Gloria goes to work, Gloria meets her kids, Gloria sings her heart out to Air Supply while driving from one lackluster designation to another. Is Arnold good for her? Who are you kidding? It’s John Turturro. Ok, that’s not fair. I make fun of the situation because it looks really, really bad on the surface: Julianne Moore is still in her 50s and gorgeous; she can do better than Turturro, right? Well, maybe not. Divorce is an ugly animal. And if Arnold is a good guy, heck, what more do you want? But Arnold isn’t actually a catch … which makes the imbalance seem all the sillier. And Gloria Bell the picture is, hence, entirely about the angst of a middle-aged woman whose biggest moments include taking a day off work and maybe seeing her grandchild for an hour.
Gloria Bell is a Sebastián Lelio remake of his 2013 film, Gloria. Congrats, Sebastián, it is not every director who gets to remake his own film. The question is … why? As there are neither plot points nor much in the way of supporting characters in the life of Gloria Bell, the film depends on a fantastic performance from its lead. Julianne Moore is certainly up to this task, and delivers as quality a performance as one might hope for, which makes me all the sadder to note how empty Gloria Bell feels. This life is an ocean of mild depression with an occasional island of smile. Her cathartic climactic response amounts to little more than a slap-in-the-face and a resumption, nay acceptance, of mediocrity. I would love to believe that her resistance in Act III represents a dramatic turnaround and a greater control, but I’ve seen the rest of Gloria’s life, hence I don’t believe it. I think ten minutes after striking a blow for middle aged feminism or whatever, she’s right back to alcoholic evenings and desperate karaoke happiness from her car radio on the way to dissatisfying job. It is here in which I wish the film had been more striking in a least one portion of the script.
♪Gloria you’re always on my screen now
Depressing somebody, you need a winner somehow
I think you need a plot point, before we start to notice
That your screenplay is empty as the morals of the POTUS
You’re a lonely hearts club member, living battles in your head
With translation left unsaid for fans of Gloria♫
Rated R, 102 Minutes
Director: Sebastián Lelio
Writer: Alice Johnson Boher, Sebastián Lelio
Genre: Being divorced sucks, huh?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Middle-aged women desperate for a win
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Twentysomething women refusing to believe this is their future
♪ Parody Inspired by “Gloria”
