Combat fans, Christmas has arrived. “Parabellum” is Latin meaning “prepare for war” (as in “If you want peace …”) It is also the name of a type of semiautomatic pistol or machine gun. Either meaning is applicable in John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, a film with an absolute orgy of violence. Seriously, Parabellum makes your average Dirty Harry film feel quaint and inadequate. I personally am disgusted at my nation’s love of violence especially by contrast to its prudish attitude towards all things sexual, and even I loved this film for all its dismembered glory.
You would think after three films, there isn’t much more to say about the franchise than “Keanu Reeves shows up and a lot of people die.” You’d be wrong. While such remains the essential plot of every John Wick film, there continue to be personal touches in these films that make the rollercoaster of impalement worth the ride and –in this case- probably worth a second look.
Parabellum wastes no time in getting down to business. The film starts with Johnny on the clock. John Wick (Reeves) has precious little time before his excommunication from the hitman underworld goes into effect—in fact, he has about 15 minutes to raid the library’s private reserve, defeat Boban Marjanović in the ultimate game of one-on-one, and get patched up by the kind of doctor who put The Joker back together. In fact, doc accuses himself of aiding and abetting seconds after Wick’s penalty goes into effect and requests two non-lethal bullets to cover his tracks. I wonder if that’s part of the co-pay.
The bad guys have taken the Mafia approach; it’s no longer enough just to get Wick, every student who let this guy who gave this guy even an ounce of help on the test needs to get the business end of something sharp as a lesson for the whole class. To this end, Parabellum introduced two delightful new villains: the first is a middle management ice queen who goes by The Adjudicator (Asia Kate Dillon); with the ability to issue death proclamations as one might order groceries, I think she’s my favorite love-to-hate villainess since Dolores Umbridge. The second (Mark Dacascos) is a predator, just like Wick … when he’s not preparing sushi, that is. You know, you don’t always go right when you give the bad guys personalities, but it beats the Hell out of the alternative.
Meanwhile, John Wick is busy cashing in his favors with Morticia Gomez, (Anjelica Huston) who runs the world’s most-lethal ballet school. This leads John to Casablanca with fellow dog lover Halle Berry. In a double-team-attack-dog infused flurry, Berry and Reeves practice their personal bailiWick dispatching of the usual suspects in most entertaining fashion. If Berry were half as good as Catwoman as she was with these dogs, we might never make fun of it. Oh, who am I kidding? Catwoman would suck even if Berry gave an Oscar performance.
All things considered, the Wickipedia trilogy has demonstrated more devotion to canines than A Dog’s Purpose. There’s something wrong in that statement.
And is it even worth mentioning there are dead bodies strewn along every step of our own Dog’s Journey? One particularly brutal fight early on found Wick in some sort of armory museum. It was at this point the movie established that every bald man in the film was going to end up slumped over while wearing something shiny and pointy as an accessory.
I wasn’t sold on the Wick films before. I enjoyed without affection. That has changed. John Wick has become my favorite current action hero. Sure, it’s ridiculous exactly how much pain he dispatches and absorbs without (seemingly) losing a step, and I’m a little bugged by exactly how many men take a hit to the crotch in this film (almost as bad as Triceracops in Kung Fury), but that’s just nit picking. For weapons, combat, martial art enthusiasts, or people who just –goldarnit- like seeing people get violently punctured, John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum is a wonder to behold. Enjoy, my friends. Enjoy.
My Rover can do any sort of trick
Play dead, shake, or fetch real quick
But if you ask me, “What for?”
Just one answer, no more
A Dog’s Purpose is to be avenged by John Wick
Rated R, 130 Minutes
Director: Chad Stahelski
Writer: Derek Kolstad and Shay Hatten and Chris Collins & Marc Abrams
Genre: There will be blood
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Fight club junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you can’t stomach violence, I suggest not even reading the title
