I can’t decide which I’m more puzzled at: the idea that presidential candidate Charlize Theron would date tree-hugging Seth Rogen or that the American public would treat single girl Charlize the same as other candidates. Yeah, good luck with that one. An otherwise amiable R-rated fantasy, it’s hard to deny that Long Shot is exactly that: a fantasy.
Fred Flarsky (Rogen), winner of the terrible name award for May 2019, is an undercover reporter. They still have those? Hmmm, I guess they do. After being made at Nazi headquarters, Fred jumps out an open window landing head first on a parked car three stories down –again, this is fun if remotely believable. As awkward embarrassments go in this film, his face plant from thirty feet might not rank top 10. Long Shot decided the price for Charlize was cruelty, and Fred pays in almost every scene.
Charlotte Field (Theron) is Secretary of State to an idiot President (Bob Odenkirk). Up until three years ago, I would have dismissed this storyline as fiction, too. Now? Well, a president elected for his celebrity who cannot wait to ditch his post in order to concentrate on his true love: acting! Yeah, I can totally see it. Ms. Field totally lines her cookies up for an endorsement from said idiot President when he breaks the news of his decision not to run again. Meeting with a focus group afterwards, Ms. Field discovers she ain’t funny enough to win votes. Well, check this out, that boy I babysat years ago just happens to be a passionate, humorous, and unemployed journalist as his workplace has now been swallowed up by [movie equivalent of Rupert Murdoch].
Any guesses as to whom that boy turned out to be? Did I hear “Flava Flav?” No, not quite.
You know I always like to check out how well casting did: Seth Rogen is currently 37, Charlize Theron 43. So, yes, she clearly could have been his babysitter at some point in life. In the film, they’re three years apart, not 6, but seeing as Seth Rogen already looks 50 anyway, I have no qualms here.
Now, where did I put those qualms? Harrumph, they’re always in the last place I looked. Ah, yes, here they are: Seth Rogen wooing Charlize Theron …?!?! C’mon, man. And as if that pairing isn’t “too good for him” enough, the film decided to make Seth dress and act like a child for a full hour or so. Team Field immediately hates Fred and for good reason: the 2019 Fred focus is DOA. But Charlotte sees something past his grammar school wardrobe, and we should, too, because there’s a decent romance and some fair sex jokes ahead.
If you can get past the fact that Charlotte is faaaaaaar too good for Fred, and, believe me, that takes some will — perhaps we can buy the presumption that as a busy powerful woman, Charlotte’s dating opportunities are so limited she’ll scrape the barrel after shooting the fish – as I say, if you can get past the disparity in relative ability to attract a mate, the romance is kinda cute. It begins with Boys II Men dinner theater and blossoms over international waters. Your average prude will not be happy about a climax that effectively takes the film over in act III, but I can’t deny that the film had both my attention and amusement during that portion.
As for the other impossibility … Long Shot lives and breathes with the fantasy that a woman running for president will be held to exactly the same scrutiny as a man. Excuse me, but HAHAHAHAHA! You wanna know what “equal scrutiny” is? Just look at the 2016 election, when a set of misplaced emails by the competent professional woman candidate became a greater weapon than the collective phalanx of indiscretion accompanying a buffoon who is literally a scandal generating machine. The shockingly puerile presidency in our comic reality that followed has proven -among many other things- that, roles reversed, not a single person would care about the emails. I digress; the point is Long Shot is a fantasy from several angles. Is it a good one? More yes than no. I say it takes 52% of the electorate.
Handicapping the election upshot
My vote is for Field, what what
Dunno her big plan
For Afghanistan
But hey, my candidate is hot
Rated R, 125 Minutes
Director: Jonathan Levine
Writer: Dan Sterling and Liz Hannah
Genre: Pretend world!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Aides to Beto O’Rourke
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Aides to Mike Pence
