“What about good zombies?” is not a question that gets raised very often. Indeed, people, what about good zombies. Aren’t they people, too? Well, no. I suppose they aren’t. But they sure do present as people in The Girl with All the Gifts.
It is the junta dystopian scenario where army men control whatever’s left of England. Outside the enclosed base is 28 Days Later, where zombies are constantly trying to get in, but they don’t have proper ID. Why the base isn’t shooting them on sight is kind of a mystery. What? Is there a run on bullets? Inside, zombie children are isolated and imprisoned, but also fed and educated. Their captors use zombie bloc, spf 50, to keep the instincts of the zombie children at bay. This is the weird part: the children behave exactly like children. They’re a little more disciplined, perhaps, but that will come with the territory when your school uniform consists of and orange jumpsuit plus arm, leg, and head restraints. “It’s better than Ritalin, this stuff. Unruly child? Just weld ‘em to a wheelchair. You’ll get discipline in a hurry!”
The most talented kid at Zombie Penitentiary ElHi is Melanie (Sennia Nanua), an exceptionally bright and insightful li’l predator. Melanie knows when she’s gonna wolf out and warns her teacher, Helen (Gemma Arterton), right before she goes cuckoo for Hufflepuffs. Oh, I get it now. You do have to treat all the kids here like Children of the Corn. No wonder their rations include live meal worms. Why doesn’t the army just shoot ‘em? Ah, I see I’m not the only one with that thought.
Head manipulator, Dr. Caroline Caldwell (Glenn Close), like to mess with Melanie. Their nightly trough-the-door therapy starts logic puzzle solving like the riddle game from The Hobbit. I assume in the previous off-camera sessions, it devolved into “20 Questions” and “How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb?” but I cannot say for sure. All I know that on this particular date, the doc asks Melanie to think of a number between one and twenty, and the next day, the kid from that particularly numbered prison cell ain’t around for reveille. Coincidence? Hardly.
Well, it just wouldn’t be a horror film without Zombie High letting out, so pretty soon, doc, Melanie, Helen, and some army guys are on their own away from the base. And while she may be The Girl with All the Gifts, Melanie probably cannot keep any of these people alive until the end credits. The only questions are, “How many of these jokers will she claim herself? And why?”
The Girl with All the Gifts introduced two thoughts I hadn’t seen in previous zombie tales: one was the idea that tainted in-utero pre-humans could exhibit both traits of normal humans and zombies. Wait. So Melanie was a zombaby once? Geez, how long has society been like this, anyway? The second was that the slow and lethargic zombie presentation is just a façade. Like in 28 Days Later, Zombies actually move with the speed and agility of the humans they once were … but they have to be woken up. If you give a zombie nothing to chase, they turn into golf-watching grandpas. Once they smell a human, however, suddenly, they’re “GET OFF MY LAWN” grandpas, only, you know, physical and lethal.
This movie wasn’t particularly about introducing new zombie concepts so much as questioning present-day dilemmas. Our modern day themes of generation-baiting are all over the idea that the non-zombified army adults have pitted themselves against these hybrid Lord of the Flies children. I don’t know if this is necessarily an exploration of the question, “What if your child doesn’t turn out to be like you? Would you still love them?” But it can’t be far off. And, of course, what resources would you pour into children that present normal until provoked; then they’re all off sneaking out windows, vapin’ at the 7-11, and having unprotected zombie sex at all hours? There is no question some parents will find it tough to watch “normal” children being put in restraints and treated like Hannibal Lecter. The Girl with All the Gifts may not be my fav zombie film ever, but it was certainly well above average. It presented true horror, paranoia, and survival/resource questions a-plenty; it was also fairly entertaining. I don’t think you can ask much more of a horror film.
♪Isn’t she bloody?
Isn’t it terrible?
Isn’t it tragic
How we’re all edible?
I can’t believe that I would flee
From something as small as she
But isn’t her muzzle caked in blood? ♫
Rated R, 111 Minutes
Director: Colm McCarthy
Writer: Mike Carey
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Misunderstood zombies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Parents of young children
♪ Parody Inspired by “Isn’t She Lovely?”
