Geez, and I was even looking forward to this. Idiot. Note to self: don’t look at the name Adam Sandler like it’s an entertainment asset. Ever. Netflix advertised this film months ago and it showed promise – Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston solving a murder in southern Europe, doesn’t that sound like a lot of fun? I genuinely wish to see the movie I imagined.
I saw this instead.
Nick (Sandler) is NYPD. He has failed a promotional detective test three times (do we believe his excuses or is he just not meant to be a detective? Hard to say). Meanwhile, hairdresser Audrey (Aniston) has drawn the dreaded henpeckery straw among all possible spousal roles. As they approach their 15th anniversary, she reflects upon never having gone on her promised European vacation. Not wanting to disappoint, Nick not only feigns that he has made detective, but covers a half-assed anniversary gift with a half-assed improvisation: “Surprise! I’m taking you to Europe!” It’s hard not to dislike Murder Mystery at this point: Nick is liar, Audrey is a shrew. Nick had no intention of Europe and felt bullied into it while Audrey feels her husband has just made his first conciliatory gesture towards her general well-being in years.
I was hoping that Europe would magically quell the animosity between the couple, but –to be fair to to screenplay- problems between couples don’t just disappear because you change settings. And pretty soon, Audrey has escaped Nick’s snoring by sneaking into the bar car on the plane for first class passengers only. There she meets Charles Cavendish (Luke Evans), who invites the couple to skip their bus tour in favor of the Cavendish family yacht … well, what would you do? I mean, aside from never get such an invitation, of course.
Does the film genuinely improve once rich people start killing one another? Oh yes. Very much so. But if you’re like me, part of you is going to be saying, “Why did it take an actual murder for this film to turn me on? Why didn’t you have a single moment in which Aniston or Sandler made me want to get to this point in the film?” Great sinking yacht balls, they’re still fighting?! Do you have any idea how attractive a bickering couple is, on screen or off?
The tragedy of Murder Mystery, besides the generic title of course, is not that Adam Sandler is no longer funny; that’s been true for ages now. The true tragedy is that two very likable people, Sandler and Aniston, spend most of the film squabbling with each other. Ask yourself: Do I really want to see a couple fight for an hour and a half? Do you? Why? My daughter hit the nail on the head immediately: wouldn’t it be better if they were wrong, but supported each other? i.e. “Right, honey! I know you’re not a detective and you only have one semester of high school Latin, but I’m sure you can figure out this cryptic Italian message all the same!” Not only that, such a tack hits home; nobody overrates their abilities or supports unworthy causes quite like an American. This film could have been a much sharper reflection for its target audience. As is? It simply reflects that its target audience is a bunch of dishonest grumpy bores. In retrospect, I suppose that’s pretty American, too, but not nearly as fun. Good luck caring about this film.
Quarrel, row, tiff, dispute
Squabble, clash, fight, refute
When a couple battles on screen all day
It makes the viewer go away
Rated PG-13, 97 Minutes
Director: Kyle Newacheck
Writer: James Vanderbilt
Genre: The one where disappointment reigns supreme
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: I dunno, Kyle Newacheck’s mother, maybe
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People waiting for the fun
