Is Teen Spirit a real competition like “American Idol?” Because if it isn’t, there’s a serious amount of product placement going on here for something that doesn’t exist. Did you really need to remind us about the film we are currently watching? I mean, you get that, right? The words “Green Book” didn’t appear on every billboard, motel lounge, or TV in the Mahershala Ali/Viggo Mortensen drama, did they? I really don’t know why Teen Spirit felt the need to advertise itself in big neon letters every sixty seconds.
The Valenskis are a family of domestic servant immigrant horse ranchers on the Isle of Wight. I dunno how you get to be poor as dirt and still own horses, but there are many things in this world that still confuse me. Teen daughter Violet (Elle Fanning) has an itch to sing and sometimes goes straight to open mic night at the club no one frequents after she waits tables at the restaurant nobody frequents, either.
Unfortunately, Violet has some talent for song, and is told as much by Vlad (Zlatko Buric), exactly the sort of half-dead Slavic sot you would expect to find hanging out by himself at a dive bar. Outside the bar, Violet has to make a quick decision before things get violent with drunk townies and opts for Vlad to take her home … and a relationship is born. Turns out, Vlad is no ordinary half-dead Slavic sot; he’s a half-dead Slavic sot who used to be a half-dead Slavic sot opera singer. His knowledge of the racket will come in handy when Violet attempts to be Ms. Teen Spirit … essentially a poor man’s “American Idol” type contest.
We’ve seen this before, of course. I always wonder how far this contestant would go in real life. Yes, she can sing and would probably get a ticket to Hollywood, but I’ve seen enough “Idol” to know she’d be packing her bags within two weeks. Violet’s Eastern European roots aren’t doing her any favors; she’s awkward at the mic and away from it, her accent is thick and meaty. In other words, this Polish needs polish. She addresses these flaws as part of her growing process. I say it doesn’t matter; eventually, she’ll hit a roadblock in the form of ten other people with better voices. At that point, even if you’ve suddenly developed Madonna-level showmanship, talent is going to rule the day.
In a way, growth biopics for talented noobs are a bit like romances; if you love the character, you feel a great deal more for the plight. I’m generally in Elle Fanning’s corner, but this performance left me a bit nonplussed. I certainly wanted to see her escape her oppressive home life and that crummy island, but I found her dreams unrealistic and her general standoffishness standoffish. This movie feels a great deal like “youth is wasted on the young.” Imaging being teen-aged, beautiful, sharp, bilingual, yet having only imagination enough to face down either of two (2) life paths: waitressing forever or pursuing half-assed dreams in-between waitressing forever. I mean, when Violet fails, as so many do, what do we expect happens next? She returns to the Isle where two Wights make a wrong and stays there forever, yes? If I’m a teenager, maybe I read this film differently, but as an adult, I see it mostly as a waste of time.
Dreaming big is rewarding and yet
It can lead to a life of regret
But for those who don’t care
And have pretty to spare
You can always be “The Bachelorette”
Rated PG-13, 92 Minutes
Director: Max Minghella
Writer: Max Minghella
Genre: The perils of natural talent
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: American Idolizers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Washouts
