“OK. Who wants to tell grandma she’s gonna die?”
“Not me.”
“Not me.”
“Nope.”
“Uh-uh.”
“Why don’t we just not tell her?”
“Well, say. There’s an idea!”
And just like that, a cultural phenomena is born.
I’m told in Chinese cultures, elders stricken with cancer are often not told they’re gonna die soon. Why? To spare them the mental anguish. Heck, they’re probably in a great deal of physical pain anyway; why put that burden on them, too? Well, other than the fact that people are entitled to know what’s wrong with them, of course. But many Chinese folks figure: They’re gonna die anyway; what is the benefit of telling them?
We know Billi (Awkwafina) won’t tell. She and Nai Nai (Shuzhen Zhao) already lie to one another over the phone on a daily basis: “Are you wearing your hat?” “Yes. Are you meeting a friend?” “Yes. Did you get evicted?” “No.” They’re the “good” kind of lies, where the consequences involved are no greater than making a loved one feel better. When it comes to it, Billi loves grandma too much to tell her the bad news in words; the problem is that Billi has a Jim Carrey poker face. Her parents don’t even want her to see Nai Nai one last time cuz they fear she’ll give away the store.
Billi and her parents came to the United States twenty years ago – presumably for economic opportunity. Ha! Joke’s on you: Thanks to decades of corporate-friendly legislation and accelerated by The Madness of King Orange, the United States is destined to give up that coveted #1-in-the-world economy spot very, very soon. In the mean time, the extended fam in China is staging a mock wedding featuring Billi’s cousin as an excuse to gather everybody together for a covert good-bye. Nai Nai has been put in charge of all the arrangements, which in this country is a great way to amass personal anguish; in China, however, it might just have the opposite effect.
At its heart, The Farewell is a very simple film—Don’t Tell Grandma, the Babysitter, She’s Dead. Like an onion, or better yet the Mueller Report, this story has many layers and if you skim the synopsis to find the conclusion, you’ll miss all of the juicy details. You can see in every face how crappy they feel that Nai Nai ain’t long for the world, and yet there’s a subtle and contradictory pleasure seeing how excited grandma is to surround herself with family, take charge, and tell Awkwafina to stop slouching. You might be waiting a while on that one, Nai Nai: Awkwafina deals in slouch the way Stephen Miller deals in evil.
You think you’d be bored with this film, wouldn’t you? I mean the whole plot is “don’t tell grandma,” which doesn’t exactly lend itself to high speed chases and assassination attempts. But from a groom crying on his wedding day to Awkwafina being insulted by a well-meaning family member roughly every three seconds, there’s a lot of joy in The Farewell. No, they’re neither Crazy, nor Rich, but these Asians should have no trouble relating to your own family dynamics. Kudos to writer/director Lulu Wang and a pair of performances that were just divine: I hope Shuzhen Zhao doesn’t actually have cancer, because I’d like to see much more of her. As for Awkwafina, she presented a performance that will keep her employed as an actress for as long as she wishes; my only wonder at this point is if her next move is into romantic comedy – with her husky voice, natural cynicism, and patented slouch, I think she makes an extremely relatable romantic heroine. I hope we get to see it.
♪I always loved you
From the days of “goo goo”
But I got some news, yeah
I think it’s gonna make you cry
Spirit is willing, baby, but
Cancer is killing, so (I’ll) miss you
I’m gonna miss you. Good bye
Nana Nana Nana Nana
Hey hey hey
Good bye♫
Rated PG, 100 Minutes
Director: Lulu Wang
Writer: Lulu Wang
Genre: The good kind of lie
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Anybody for whom the words “Family Reunion” come with both a smile and a cringe
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Loners
♪ Parody Inspired by “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye”
