Oh, if only the President were ever this vulnerable. I spent the vast majority of this film thinking that exact thought … and then feeling guilty that I was thinking it and reflected upon how awful it would be if the fate of a sitting President really came down to a middle-aged side of beef with sleep deprivation and concussion issues. No, I don’t really want this President or any other to be assassinated; exclusively short-term outlook is why our country is in the state it’s in. However, if Trump were to, say, take a two-year nap and let adults run the country in his absence … that would be superior. Of course, letting field mice, a dead gecko, or a random empty can of soda run the country in lieu of Trump would also be superior. At least the soda can wouldn’t pretend to know what its doing.
Searching imdb, I find there are three of these “Fallen” things. Good Lord, really? Gerard Butler found a franchise? They are all the same damn film, too. Terrorists. Attack. Death. Vulnerable President. President’s unwavering protector [read: “Angel”] is blamed, heroic, and exonerated. It’s pretty sad how often the loyalty of Mike Banning (Butler) is questioned. Exactly how many times do you have to save President Trumbull (Morgan Freeman) before your loyalty stops being questioned?
Returning from war game R&R, Banning is already less than 100% when President Trumbull finds his fishing trip shortened considerably by a drone swarm. I guess those fish are really bitin’, huh? You know what they say – “a bad day of fishing still beats a good day of work.” Wonder if they say that when fishing lands you in a coma. The action here is both exciting and scary—the drones identify a Secret Service guy, and literally dive bomb. Game Over. In fact, given that this attack is so successful, the conclusion where Banning and Trumbull escape with their lives does not make sense on any level.
Banning wakes up handcuffed to a hospital bed wondering, “What’s up?” Again, how many times does a guy have to save a President before his loyalty goes unquestioned? Banning’s armored escort to super secret jail gets attacked and, to the surprise of nobody, Banning escapes even the guys who attacked the entourage. There is no shortage of good news/bad news in this film, as this scene demonstrates expertly: Good news, spooky attack. Bad news, how did you fail to capture the immobile backseat passenger while killing everybody else? Then comes the fugitive part of these films. I hate this part because Banning will most likely end up killing a dozen guys whose job it is to track and capture bad people. They don’t get to know Banning isn’t really bad; all they know is their boss, presumably a national security authorized good guy, told them to get that fugitive (on the assumption that he’s bad). And several will die in the process of serving their flag on the assumption of doing good. That’s messed up.
Even more than its predecessors Olympus Has Fallen and London Has Fallen, Angel Has Fallen appeals exactly to the MAGA Militia Morons out in their InfoWars stratosphere. All it takes is one guy with a fallen angle and fancy toys to destroy all of the President’s defenses and exactly one motivated man is, by himself, capable of making sure the President is alive. Oh, and it gets better when Mike teams up with his father, Nick Nolte, a one-man grandpa hermit army. Yeah, that’s exactly the correct message for conspiracy nuts: go off the grid, camp out in the woods, claymore your “territory” and blow-to-Hell anybody who shows up to ask you questions. Not only are you perfectly within your rights, it’s just so easy, right? And deep down, the government knows it had it comin’ cuz only your unchallenged deliberate misreading of the constitution -and specifically the second amendment- counts. Angel Has Fallen isn’t a terrible film, but for the sake of national security, you should probably withhold DVD release to the entirety of the conspiracy crowd.
♪That fateful day the boat was victim of a drone attack
Assassination attempts back-to-back-to-back
Do you remember how they laid all the blame your way?
In the Fallen biz, I think we call that “Tuesday”
Mean angel, can you save me?
Mean angel, please don’t glaive me
Can you protect the whole U.S.?
Our nation, it seems, is quite a mess♫
Rated R, 120 Minutes
Director: Ric Roman Waugh
Writer: Robert Mark Kamen and Matt Cook & Ric Roman Waugh
Genre: Second third verse, same as the first
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Conspiracy theorists
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Genuine secret service angels
♪ Parody Inspired by “Teen Angel”
