Good or bad, Howl’s Moving Castle is the ultimate Hayao Miyazaki film – with mirthless magic, vulnerable vixen, crazy critters, and a two-hour run time, it is the pinnacle of everything that drives you wild or insane about Miyazaki films. Castle is a visual feast of spectacle and demons. The film celebrates an inexperienced heroine cursed and torn from her home only to fall in love with a world she’s never known. And it’s also far too long and promotes an ending so confusing Harvard University offers a semester-long graduate level pass/fail only seminar to discuss it in detail – only serious students need apply.
The film starts innocuously enough – pre-adult milliner Sophie (voice of Emily Mortimer young and Jean Simmons old) is out for a walk in her steampunk port town when she gets hit on by some punk soldiers. Then, androgynous narcissist and super-mage Howl (Christian Bale) rescues her only to point out that he, too, is being harassed. His tormentors are not military, per se, but well-dressed ill-defined black demon blobs. Sure, why wouldn’t they be? Next thing you know, Howl has deposited Sophie back in her chapeau shop where she picks a fight with her only customer. Turns out the rude old beast Sophie spars with is the Witch of the Waste (Lauren Bacall) who turns Sophie into a 90-year old woman for a lark. Folks, “the customer is always right” isn’t just a slogan.
Naturally, 90-year-old Sophie now has to skip town, cuz, you know, 90. Anyway, she sets out for witchland. “You know it’s dangerous up there, right?” Kinda wished Sophie had answered back, “Dude, I’m frickin’ 90. What is the worst that could happen?” But then she gets sidetracked by a sentient pogostick scarecrow and the titular Howl’s Moving Castle – a bird-legged Monty Python-like contraption that looks as if it could 
implode at any second. The castle is equal parts edifice, beast, and junkyard. And it can exist in four different locations at the same time, which is a pretty neat trick … especially if you need an alibi.
This is when the story introduced Billy Crystal as a fire demon, cuz, you know, what Miyazaki is complete without Billy Crystal? I think there’s a plot in all this somewhere. Howl lives in the castle, but spends most of his time as a bird where he avoids serving in the steampunk war being waged by the queen except for the times when he plays the part of pacifist by destroying airships.
Don’t look at me for explanations; everything in this film is confusing on at least two levels. For instance, every machine in Howl’s moving castle seems at least partially organic and every living organic being seems at least part machine. Watching airships that literally flap their wings, I have no doubt when other steampunk films are storyboarded, they first pull up designs from this film.
I’m gonna put Howl’s moving castle in the “So crazy it just might work!” pile where none of the elements as described seem like they belong to a competent film, and yet, this film is charming even when confusing. And I have no doubt that a small army of fans would gladly kill or die to protect the honor of Howl’s Moving Castle. If you’re out there, don’t kill me, I just want to know how to interpret Act III. Not just the end or a few scenes, all of Act III.
Animation is an eccentric art
Bringing life to pictures shows one’s heart
At Ghibli studio
The fantastical grow
Sentient pogo sticks are just the start
Rated PG, 119 Minutes
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Writer: Hayao Miyazaki
Genre: Miyazaki
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Miyazaki-ites
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you didn’t like Miyazaki before …
