In-laws. Pffft. AmIright? Actually, I have no idea. The stereotypical image of the domineering, unaccepting relatives attached to one’s spouse are lost on me. I have the best in-laws in the world. I have been married for decades and never once have they ever told me to go stuff it –and when you write like I do, you earn “go stuff it”s like an Eagle Scout earns merit badges – no, never once have my wife’s parents, aunts, uncle, cousins or siblings been unkind to me, never once have they treated me like I wasn’t a member of the family, and never once have they hunted me for sport, which brings me to today’s film, Ready or Not.
Grace (Samara Weaving) is marrying into to the eccentric and godawful wealthy Le Domas family. “Godawful” may be a literally correct description as the family patriarch sold the name “Le Domas” to The Devil decades ago, and every once in a while, The Devil has to collect in blood. Like now.
Tradition has it that every new face to the family (does this apply to children as well?) has to play a randomly selected game for an initiation. The Dumbasses made their fortune in gaming, so this makes sense in an odd-sort-of-way. What doesn’t quite add up is the midnight ritual, the card that goes into the machine blank and comes out with instructions, and the fact that nobody in the family warns the prospective newcomer that death is one potential outcome. Most of the possibilities are innocuous, however, the “Hide and Seek” card requires an armed estate manhunt and a ritual sacrifice. Personally, I prefer Scrabble. That’s just me.
The wedding of Grace and Alex (Mark O’Brien) takes place on the vast Le Domas estate. What, there’s no reception? What kind of monsters are you people? Oh, the sold-your-collective-family-soul-to-The-Devil kind of monsters. Well, Never mind, then. Wait. Wouldn’t The Devil want a kick-ass reception? There is no lack of Devil’s workshop moments among post-wedding frivolity, is there not? It is said that The Devil is in the details and while I find most devils in “The Electric Slide,” The Devil here is in the Monopoly Board.
To its credit, the part where Grace draws “Hide and Seek” and has to trot daintily elsewhere while the fam weapons up actually reminds me a bit of the prologue to Get Out. This is, of course, a big in-joke – the family knows this is lethal, but Grace does not. Her new husband is torn. For anybody who has ever had a sneaking suspicion that their in-laws hated them, well, have they ever actually tried to kill you?
I can’t exactly call this “rollicking fun” or something to that effect. This is a horror film; there is horror and a good deal of blood in Ready or Not. And yet, there is a boatload of dark comedy for those of us who enjoy sly grins. Like the pompous son-in-law who can’t figure out how a crossbow works – well, gee, why would you? How often are you using the thing?—and the rent-a-maids who keep dying in place of the bride, or simply the scowling grandmother who already looks like a walking corpse.
Ready or Not has three major things going for it – a relatively unique premise (yes, it is just a variation on The Most Dangerous Game, but the bride part is a twist), the standard horror trope of confined geography, and a protagonist who fights back. I always appreciate a horror protagonist that fights back; you have to confront a bully. I won’t put this on the great films list for the 2019, but there are far worse ways for strong-stomached adults to entertain themselves.
For many, weddings are oft Ready or Not?
It may take years to discover what you got
Yet the the wise will remember
To account every member
For you marry not a person, but their family plot
Rated R, 95 Minutes
Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett
Writer: Guy Busick, Ryan Murphy
Genre: Family fun
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Women who have battled their in-laws once too often
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Pollyannas
