Oh joy. I got to see Adam’s Devining rod again. Gosh, how I missed it! Why can’t he just wear a fig leaf like other Adams?
It’s painful when such an important topic is reduced to a load of crap. Like when gender identity issues came out as It’s Pat or race relations evolved into White Chicks. Jexi is essentially about human reliance on the electronic devices that control our minds but instead of having something useful to say on the topic, like, say, The Terminator, this message is lost behind a firewall of immaturity and nonsense.
Phil (Adam Devine) is a journalist in San Francisco. I swear only people in Hollywood can possibly believe there are still future careers in journalism. And what he is actually does not merit journalism; he makes “lists” for a clickbait site. (He hopes his efforts will eventually merit the journalism career path.) What are lists? They’re things like “12 miserable comedies in 2019” and “27 embarrassing things Adam Devine has done on camera” and “5 films Charlyne Yi should have avoided.”
A loner and an introvert, Phil has a Nob Hill apartment he shouldn’t be able to afford. From it, he orders in every night, watches Netflix, and instaglams his life as if he has one. Like so many folks, he is attached to his cell phone by umbilical cord. Given his devotion to personal device instead of devised persons, this film should have been a sharp reflection on humanity. But I’m getting ahead of myself. In the season’s worst meet-cute, phone-attentive Phil literally runs into bike shop owner Cate (Alexandra Shipp). Given that Phil cares more about phone than the co-ed he floored, there is a 0% chance that romance would begin here. However, this is a movie, and not a well constructed one, so we just know Phillybadmoves eventually will conquer a woman who is his superior in any way that counts.
First, however, we have to endure Wanda Sykes (who is to bad film as sticky is to peanut butter) trash-talking Phil into a new phone which comes equipped with voice-command system Jexi (voice of Rose Byrne). Jexi is combination Siri, Hal-9000, and one of The Jerky Boys. And Jexi is pretty much the worst. There is no way anyone but a masochist would endure Jexi’s constant belittling, but again, this is a movie. There is no way anyone but a masochist would endure Jexi’s subversion, but again, this is a movie. And there’s certainly no way anyone but an insecure manbaby masochist would endure Jexi’s petty Trump-like emotional fragility, but again, this a movie. A bad, bad, movie.
About three seconds after Jexi correctly identifies Phil as a dumbass, I’d pretty much had enough of the pair. And yet, this film still had an hour more worth of garbage to show me. Never before have I been so embarrassed by a film set on streets I know so well … and that includes The Wedding Planner.
Now, before I call this movie among the worst of the year, let me point out: 1) The premise isn’t actually a bad one; many, many people –including myself- are way more technology and cellphone addiction than they ought to be. 2) The swamp creature two seats in front of me thought he was watching the comic equivalent of Schindler’s List. 3) Not everything in this film was bad, just Jexi, the fabricated romance, Adam Devine, and everything Adam Devine did on screen including drop his pants and take several photos. Michael Peña, for instance, has a decent time as Phil’s hideously-overbearing-yet-likable boss – I think his character fits well among a comic premise. I have no doubt Jexi will show up on several worst lists; it certainly has earned the right, but it probably won’t merit anything worse than my annual Dishonorable Mention tributes. I see it more as witnessing a car accident: it should be horrifying, but given the right audience, you might have a masterpiece.
Some prefer to be left all alone
Staring blankly while the soul is on loan
Please take advantage
Of the sagacious adage
Life is what happens while you’re on your phone
Rated R, 84 Minutes
Director: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore
Writer: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore
Genre: Technoslavery
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Boys who instigate pranks
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anyone with an ounce of maturity
