Pacifists do not belong in the zombie apocalypse. Don’t get me wrong: I love pacifists; I am a pacifist; at this moment in history, pacifists are in high demand and short supply throughout the world, but among the zombie apocalypse? Uh uh. No. Nope. No way. We chumps become brain food sooner than you can say, “fruit roll-up.”
Among many unanswered questions in the otherwise delightful return to Zombieland, the film doesn’t explain how any pacifists survived, let alone a coo of them. How do they keep the zombies away? Do the zombies get bored or something? That doesn’t seem like a zombie trait. Heck, how did the zombies survive the winter? Or several winters? And how much time has passed? While we have aged a decade between films, perhaps the time in Zombieland has only been a year or two; one could argue that Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Jesse Eisenberg have all aged poorly, as would befit a post-apocalyptic scenario. However, there’s no mistaking that Abigail Breslin is YEARS OLDER than she was, which unfortunately triggers several practical survival-relegated questions including, and especially, how the heck did pacifists make it this long?
So in the successive years of Zombielandium, our four core folks moved into the White House. Yes, that White House. See, there’s nobody else around to care. In a different age, we might be amused by the thought of President Tallahasee (Harrelson), President Columbus (Eisenberg), or President Wichita (Stone). Now? Well, since any one of these actors or their characters would make a better president than the current occupant, it’s harder to find the funny. Hence, the presidential quips are fairly minimal and the object is to get our quartet to leave before act I expires. This is done easily when Wichita and Little Rock (Breslin), both feeling suffocated, hit the road to live a different apocalypse.
The boys don’t adjust terribly well; the worst facet being Columbus acquiring Madison (Zoey Deutch), a woman who has managed to survive the zombie apocalypse despite being an airheaded mall rat. Oh, but it gets worse. In search of an adult life, Little Rock has discovered Berkeley (Avan Jogia), a guitar-wielding, pot-smoking, pacifistic poseur. Gee, movie, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were making fun of me and my people. And when Wichita returns to the White House to report the crisis in Little Rock, it’s time for an adventure.
Was this film as fun as the original? Not quite, but close. I think it only falls short for (lack of) novelty. We get into more of the tongue-in-cheek Columbus rules for surviving the apocalypse and more of the Tallahassee intolerance for the Columbus rules. The aggravation is exacerbated by my favorite scenes in the film in which Zombieland: Double Tap enhances a chapter from Shaun of the Dead in creating dueling mirrored survival parties. At the end of the day, most of this iteration is gold; you just have to ask yourself if you can handle pacifists in the post apocalypse.
It is not often a comic film can boast Academy Award Nominees among its entire core. Among the four leads, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, and Jesse Eisenberg now have eight Oscar nominations. (They had just two going into the original) I dunno exactly what to say about this except it’s worth commentary. Heck, for fun, select a random comedy and try it out … I googled “Random Comic Movie” and found Captain Underpants. Imagine that being advertised with “Academy Award Nominee Kevin Hart, Academy Award Nominee Ed Helms, Academy Award Nominee Thomas Middleditch (also in Zombieland II, btw), and Academy Award Winner Nick Kroll…” See how absurd that sounds?
I won’t say the original Zombieland was the first zombie film I ever enjoyed, but that’s not far from the truth. And it was an an absolute blast. Marred only by a very poor decision the girls make towards the end of the film, Zombieland was a delightful dark comic speculation about how some normies survive the zombie apocalypse. Bottom line with Zombieland: Double Tap is the severed head doesn’t fall far from the corpse. Yes, this film has plenty of issues, but to indulge them is to miss the pure delight of the post apocalypse; if you have a taste for R-rated comic horror, this is a must-see pair.
You may see the apocalypse as Hell
For some, the brain-eating ain’t swell
Here endeth the blame
Two can play this game
Now the dead are pacifists as well
Rated R, 99 Minutes
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Writer: Dave Callaham, Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Genre: More undead fun!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of the original
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Pragmatists
