The battle of Midway was never so amusing. I saw this film in a new Regal Cinemas 4DX theater. Never been to one? Well, you’re in for a “treat;” it seems that Regal has mechanized the Rocky Horror experience. In a 4DX theater, the seats move. Yes, they literally move. They jolt, jar, blow, puff, and spray … as in water. (But there’s a “no water” option should you not care for a mild-film misting) There are seatbelts for impaired seating. Wouldn’t want your paraplegic gramps falling out of his chair now, would we? The seating action matches the screen action – i.e. when a ship rocks on screen, your seat will rock. When a plane blows up, smoke will appear, and when it’s raining on the screen you’re viewing, you will get wet. Can’t wait to see what they do for a film like Half Baked or Caligula. Hmmm, on second thought, maybe I can wait.
Gotta say, all of this distracts considerably from whatever is put on screen, which –in the case of 2019 Midway– was just fine. This screenplay was flat, the characters wooden, and the battle that turned the tide in the Pacific Theater of Operations needed a better villain. Sorry, but Hirohito just ain’t Hitler, y’know?
I’m being a little harsh. Midway wasn’t terrible; it just wasn’t terribly engaging, either. It seemed to ignore the reasons people love war films in favor of giving us a dramatic history lesson. Midway starts with the bombing of Pearl Harbor, cuz that’s how WWII started, right? The film wanted to present intelligence officer Edwin Layton (Patrick Wilson) as a hero by telling us how his opinion was mishandled in the run up to December 7, 1941. There was some good stuff here about how cryptology was handled in the days before Games magazine existed. 
Good Lord, man, how could Americans possibly know how to solve puzzles before the advent of escape rooms?
Intelligence-wise, however, Midway only mattered in that breaking Japanese code was the difference between victory and defeat. Who needs a stuffy old code-breaking office when your chair can vibrate to fighter plane stuff? The standard hyperbole was offered, of course – the Japanese navy is invincible, Midway is a gateway to the destruction of Esseff and El Lay (yeah, I’m sure saving the West Coast from destruction goes over real well in red communities these days), American planes were held together with duct tape and airplane glue, etc. I don’t think we quite got to the point where we see that the engines in American fighter jets are simply a big rubberband, but I’m sure that scene was in the outtakes. And yet, somehow plucky Americans with merely a two year heads up, an intelligence coup, and dozens of of steel belt towns completely unhindered by war managed to eke out a victory over a much smaller nation. Woohoo! USA! USA!
Quite frankly, the need to constantly picture ourselves as underdogs is getting a little tiresome. I know it makes for better drama, but man, if there’s one thing the last three years have taught me it is stop playing the victim card. It’s not only tiresome; it’s often untrue, especially if you’re wealthy. However, it is indeed true that when the battle of Midway occurred, Americans had fared so poorly in WWII to date they even failed to get a “participant” ribbon. So, yeah, a big victory was needed, and whoomp! There it is. And it was a very moving one, indeed, but only because somebody engineered the theater chairs.
Woody Harrelson (
as Admiral Nimitz, whose freeway I drive once a week) gives his least dynamic performance in years. Ed Skrein (as the daring pilot with the porn star name, Dick Best) continues to insist his career lies in the field of “forgettable action hero.” Luke Evans’ mustache shows up for several scenes to make us wonder what it would be like if Michael Shannon were in this film. If you don’t believe the casting here is a joke, a Jonas brother showed up. Look, I know everyone wants to be in a war film, but a Jonas brother?!This is not the best you’ll see of World War II, not by a long shot. This isn’t even the best movie about the battle of Midway entitled Midway. But it is serviceable and if you see it in 4DX, make sure you get the souvenir photo on your way out of the theater.
For Yanks, the war wasn’t terrific
Our navy floundered, not to be specific
For problems, not the least
Shame Moscow’s not quite east
Could have used Russian help in the Pacific
Rated PG-13, 138 Minutes
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writer: Wes Tooke
Genre: Making history into a theme park ride
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: WWII vets, people with season passes to Six Flags
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who hoist the Rising Sun flag (“It’s about heritage and history, man!”)
