Wow! Adam Sandler has never been better! He has never fully realized and embodied a true-to-life character like Howard Ratner. Wow! I hate Howard Ratner. He’s a multi-sinnin’ sleazeball constantly playing loose with other people’s money. I’m not a gambler, but since this is a film about gambling I’d put the odds at about 20:1 against Howie being alive by the end of the film. And that would be ok by me.
Howie is a jeweler by trade, one of those guys who owns a tiny interior showroom in midtown Manhattan where access is restricted by an electronic door and bulletproof glass. “Jeweler,” however, is being kind. Howie is a hustler … not a swindler, per se; Howie is somebody always on the lookout for the retirement-ensuring move. In addition to an expensive sportsbook habit, Howie has acquired a million dollar rock from the mines of Ethiopia. Howie’s street guy, Demany (LaKeith Stanfield), invites Kevin Garnett –yes, that Kevin Garnett and playing Kevin Garnett—to get a look at the rock among other gems. Falling in love with the raw black opal, Kevin immediately insists upon holding it as a good luck charm for his playoff game against the 76ers that evening, using his NBA championship ring as collateral. Howie turns around and pawns Kevin’s ring to place an absurd bet on KG’s performance. If that doesn’t tell you who Howie is, nothing will. Well, that and the 4.7 “fuck”s/minute patter of his.
Now, why KG is in Manhattan midday when he has a playoff in Philly that evening is beyond me. And for those of us who know sports history … KG’s proximity to a man laying thousands of dollars down on his performance is more than a little problematic — that’s potential career-ending “no HOF for you” consequences.
The story isn’t KG, however. It’s Howie and his rock. And Howie and his bets. And Howie and the constant stream of bookies he owes. And Howie and his mistress, semi-estranged wife, and the children he ignores. At some point, one wishes for a father figure of some kind to step back, slap Howie in the face and scream, “What are you doing?! You own a jewelry store. You own a million dollar rock. You have a nice place to live and children and a woman that loves you. Pay off the people you owe and go to gamblers anonymous. There’s no bet on Earth you can place that would make your life any better.” But of course, the power of the film is that this message would be lost on Howie and his self-defeating behavior.
You may not know this, but some casinos invest in gambling films … provided they get creative control (i.e. gambling is not presented as a self-defeating addiction). Usually this comes in the form of showing the protagonist making successful wages, just like real life! Uncut Gems cheated the process here – Howie’s gambling problem owns him; it accounts for every bad move he makes in the film, and yet, Howie never actually places a bad bet. See how that works? Gambling isn’t actually evil; Howie just didn’t do it right. Is that really the message you want to send, fellas?
While the plot revolves around Howie’s neverending greed scramble, the theme to Uncut Gems could just as easily be archaeology. The unearthed stone drives all the action in Act I, on top of which the Safdie brothers have also excavated the fossilized remains of Judd Hirsch and Eric Bogosian for the cast. Finally, the film dug up a truly wretched and overbearing new age soundtrack – one that seems to belong in unsuccessful infomercials or in cheap 1980s sci-fi. I don’t want to waste words or pussyfoot around this point one little bit: I could hate Uncut Gems for the soundtrack alone. I’m not kidding.
Uncut Gems reminds me of yet another strategically-released overhyped end-of-the-year New York City story. Adam Sandler finally stops dicking around on film and you guys want some awards? Is that how this works? I appreciated the realism of the film in terms of who Howard Ratner is, the kind of person he represents, and how this type of person behaves. But I really loathe that kind of person. I don’t need a film to tell me that guy is going to meet with an accident. I hated the soundtrack and I hated the fact that the film made me root for the Celtics. Honestly, Uncut Gems, you’re getting off easy. If I’m not a guy who appreciated the Safdie’s last film, Good Time, I’d have few qualms about putting Uncut Gems on a bottom 10 list.
With finances, Howie liked to toy
He found each sporting gamble a joy
Yet his creditors caught
And made plans all-for-naught
Perhaps he could bet on The Waterboy
Rated R, 135 Minutes
Director: Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie
Writer: Ronald Bronstein, Benny Safdie , Josh Safdie
Genre: I call him “Gamblor!” [/HomerSimpson]
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Miners
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who prefer characters to plots
