You break into a house. It’s furnished yet appears empty otherwise. You explore. The upstairs is empty. The basement light is out, but you explore anyway. In the darkened basement, you discover a live child chained to the radiator. What do you do? Careful, this will be on the test.
This is exactly the dilemma of small time robbers Mickey (Bill Skarsgård – nice to see him out of that clownface for once) and Jules (Maika Monroe). We’ve seen this couple in films like True Romance; they’re cute enough to deserve better and stupid enough to deserve worse. Case in point happens right off the bat when they knock over a convenience store/gas station before the opening credits, but their getaway car runs out of gas before they’ve even gone 10 miles. That’s some good forethought, Lou.
Mickey is on the impulsive/emotional side and Jules calms him down with something she calls “car wash.” Mickey lays on the ground and while Jules straddles atop him, she meets face-to-face, eye-to-eye about five inches away letting her long hair drape the edges of his cheeks, and then she swivels her head slowly back and forth swishing her hair on his face not unlike … a car wash. I mention this because out-of-place plotwise as this sweet little moment might be, it’s the kind of thing that seems to be missing from modern romance on film. What’s the biggest romance of 2019? Long Shot, maybe? I’d sooner believe these two were a couple than Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron.
Discount Bonnie and Clyde find a house on the road, decide to steal the car, and that’s when the fun begins. Do watch out for the homeowners (Jeffrey Donovan and Kyra Sedgwick). Fear not for our benevolent Villains; Mickey has a gun with which he is equally as adept as a turtle on stilts.
Villains is a testimony to film simplicity. Our heroes ain’t complicated; the plot ain’t complicated; and 80% of the film is shot in one house. The gift of quality filmmaking is the ability to choose sides depending exactly on what’s being presented. Here you have an isolated couple minding their own business in their remote home in the woods. Armed burglars –on the lam no less- break in to this couple’s house with the intent to steal a car and kidnap their child and not for one second are we sympathetic with the home-owning couple. Oh yes; there is no mistaking this is a movie. And a decent one at that. If you find Villains somewhere on cable and have 90 minutes to spare, give it a chance.
Amidst a moral pollution
Criminals of remote absolution
Show virtue revision
With confused decision
And kidnapping as a bona fide solution
Rated R, 88 Minutes
Director: Dan Berk, Robert Olsen
Writer: Dan Berk, Robert Olsen
Genre: Parenting issues
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People capable of being horrified
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The too-righteous-for-their-own-good
