To be fair, the spell worked better than the boys expected. After all, it managed to generate half-a-dad, which is better than no dad. Of course, the half generated was the lower half, which is great if the boys really wanted to know if their long-deceased father were pigeon-toed.
The Lightfoot boys, Ian and Barley (voices of Tom Holland and Chris Pratt, respectively, taking some time off from Avenging), are elves, as is their mother (Julia Louis-Dreyfus). Their father died years ago and has been semi-replaced by a centaur cop. I suppose she’s just looking for a “stable” relationship. :rimshot: Hey, if mom is into it, who am I to judge?
The joke here is that Onward is a magical D&D world grown up. Elves are still elves; medusae are still medusae. Unicorns are feral trash dwellers, not unlike raccoons. (Watching a unicorn hiss with rage when cornered will never not make me laugh.) However, the setting is generations removed from quests and medieval behavior. The magic exists, but it has vanished. It has been replaced with electricity and iPhones. Why gallop on your steed when your Ford Bronco doesn’t need a saddle?
Barley, the “historian,” understands that his fantasy game manuals are, in reality, methods of connecting to a forgotten past and conjuring long-dormant magic. And, check it out, it’s Ian’s 16th birthday and the dad he never knew has left the pair a magical staff and phoenix gem, tools necessary to summon dad temporarily from whatever Hell has currently claimed him. However, Barley sucks at impulse control and Ian only managed to conjure dad’s lower half before the spell was broken. This is kinda funny and kinda sweet. A tangible lower half of a middle-aged man walkin’ around by itself is inherently funny. But hey, the feet know the Barley-familiar “shave-and-a-haircut” routine from “Who Framed Roger Jabberwock?”
And there’s a time limit on half-a-dad. The boys only get him until sundown the following day. Hence, the quest is clear: find another phoenix gem to complete dad in a fantasy world that looks not unlike… Phoenix. Oh, and boys, take your half-a-dad with you.
Strange as this may be to say of a Disney/Pixar film, Onward sneaks up on you. I felt mild amusement over the clever world building. Yeah, the gentrified manticore who has turned a siege castle, essentially, into family dinner theater is cute if a bit blasé. We’ve seen fantasy. We’ve seen teens on a quest. We’ve seen great animation. But Onward never gives up on its tale or its characters. The climax is not only extremely clever, but very moving. It’s hard not love a film that loves all of its characters, even when they don’t love themselves. Onward is extremely satisfying and suitable for kids, adults, and anyone who has ever left a D&D table wanting more. It’s a shame this film will be crushed by COVID-19. Perhaps it will make up for it on video.
♪Turns out
In my bedroom, my father was suspended
Oh no
And now my bro and I must quest ‘til end of day
The ”history” book on the shelf
Taught us how to conjure half an elf
Father trou – what the heck did you disrupt me for?
Father trou – make sure he doesn’t trip on the floor
Father trou – got to make the upper half of our dad
Father trou – As closure goes, this is distinctly sad
Father trou – Finally “facing” my father now♫
Rated PG, 102 Minutes
Director: Dan Scanlon
Writer: Dan Scanlon & Jason Headley & Keith Bunin
Genre: The magical quest for closure
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who can get behind the idea of a manticore running a TGI Fridays
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Inanimates
♪ Parody Inspired by “Waterloo”
