Joan feels a lump. Is it benign? Of course it’s not benign; this is a movie. If it were benign, the entire film would be Liam Neeson putting away Christmas ornaments. Not that Liam putting away Christmas ornaments isn’t spectacular entertainment. [Makes chef-like appreciation noise “mwah!”] But maybe there is such thing as too much entertainment, in which case you take your lumps; in a film like Ordinary Love they’re gonna happen anyway.
I went through Act I wondering how many times Liam Neeson has buried a spouse on screen or in person. Seems a bunch, don’t it? So when Joan (Lesley Manville) feels a lump, I’m thinking it’s not too early to get the black suit dry cleaned, Liam, knowwhatI’msayin’?
Getting away from cynicism for a sec, one of the things I loved about this movie was exactly how Ordinary this couple is. They’re retired, but not old. They aren’t rich or poor or extravagant or foolish. They don’t have great crises. They go for walks; they shop together. Joan reminds Tom (Neeson) to go easy on the beer. Tom drives Joan to every appointment. He wouldn’t dream of letting her go alone. This is how I imagine my late middle age going. And then Joan gets a lump.
Ordinary Love is less a film than a “How To” manual on surviving cancer in your family. You’re gonna go through things. Awful things. Annoying things. Pedantic things. A few of them you will expect: pain, waiting, nausea, hair loss, being poked and prodded, being uncomfortable, wanting a different fate. You’re gonna encounter a few things that, perhaps, you won’t anticipate: friendship among strangers, isolation, loneliness, wigs, fighting with loved ones. I’m not ashamed to say the fighting made me cry – it’s bad enough what you’re going through without tearing each other apart.
Of course one thing that doesn’t get discussed in this film is money. You know this experience isn’t American because they never have to discuss the cost of any procedure or treatment. Look, people, I’m done arguing. Health is a right. Everyone is entitled to it. Having a wealthy country where health care isn’t guaranteed is disgusting. I don’t know what the rest of you are thinking, but this one of the top three ways in which America is broken. Really broken. Personally, I’d GLADLY pay more in taxes if it meant that every.single.American had health care. No caveats, no exceptions. [/soapbox]
Even if money isn’t at issue, it’s not like you lack for conversation pieces when somebody has cancer. I loved that the film infused humor in awkward places. It made the situation feel far more real. Here Tom is consoling his bald, exhausted, chemo-burdened middle-aged wife. She has an upcoming hospice stay and requests a few items, including her blue nightgown and knickers. “Any knickers?” Tom asks, “Crotchless knickers?” It’s hard to laugh and cry at the same time.
My wife goes into surgery today. Not cancer, thankfully. Not serious, thankfully. I deliberately planned the publish of this review to coincide so I’ll (hopefully) remember how a husband ought to act when his spouse has a date with the hospital. I hope to have half the class and dignity of either Tom or Joan under these circumstances. Ordinary Love is a tough watch and it certainly ain’t for Pollyannas or couples who don’t like facing mortality. But it’s a mature, encompassing, and bittersweet look at things Ordinary Lovers face, and you might too one day.
♪Blue-haired baby, English lady, maybe you could use rest
Making tea, routinely, married to the guy from Schindler’s List
Showering, ya, you must have felt it, pitted in your chest
And now it’s in you, life can’t continue, toxic cancer in your breast
Watch me dose her, tiny cancer
Count the T-cells in the bloodstream
Time for chemo and some hair loss
The injustice makes you scream♫
Rated R, 92 Minutes
Director: Lisa Barros D’Sa, Glenn Leyburn
Writer: Owen McCafferty
Genre: Life = pain, with a few cruel laughs thrown in
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Veteran couples
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Veteran couples
♪ Parody Inspired by “Tiny Dancer”
