This really happened. Honestly, it helps to know that. It also helps to know that self-directed writer/star/biographer Woody Harrelson does not sugar coat his mediocrity. He may be expressly manipulating his audience with perceived good intentions, but I think we see him for what he is: a celebrity who did something mildly stupid and is mildly hoping that if his recount is mildly honest, we will think mildly better of him. It mildly works … and the recount is mildly funny. Hence … I mildly approve.
In 2002, Woody Harrelson performed on stage in London’s West End. This much is true…as is, presumably, the tabloid headline that spurred the worst in Woody. It’s hard to know exactly how much of the rest of this biography is true because during the fateful evening 1) Woody was probably under the influence (at one point, he eats marijuana to conceal evidence from the cops) and 2) when Owen Wilson shows up, the two have several anachronistic discussions involving Wes Anderson, Semi-Pro, and Wedding Crashers. The important part is that until Zombieland, which continues to exist after this narrative, Woody Harrelson’s celebrity was shaky; it relied a great deal on being part of a TV show that -at the time- was more than a decade removed from relevant.
After a particularly uninspired stage performance, Woody discovers that a London tabloid has made his impressive infidelity a front page story. His children and girlfriend, Laura (Eleanor Matsuura), have not yet seen the paper which essentially drives Harrelson’s initial motives … until they do, Harrelson is doing what most men would do — try to get away with it. It takes all of ten minutes for Laura to catch up.
Abandoned by Laura and the kids, Woody gets Lost in London, at first attaching himself to a Middle Eastern prince of some kind, then to a random stranger who mistakes him for Woody Allen, then to Owen Wilson, and one ego-driven brawl later, all logic and dignity disappears in favor of one man’s chaos. And we’re left with the idea that Woody Harrelson should probably never be left alone, ever.
This is the kind of film where the humor grows on you; I was so involved in Woody’s plight that only now am I realizing how funny it is that Owen Wilson considers Wes Anderson his best friend …and that while Woody considers Owen HIS best friend, the feeling is almost kinda sorta mutual? There’s also the hilarious moment when Woody’s celebrity fails him completely for bar entry while the prince’s does not. At this point, I really wanted Woody to retreat tail-between-legs to his Stroud Hotel residence and wait out whatever doghouse punishment Laura had for him there. But this is Woody’s memoir and if 2002 Woody Harrelson said he was gonna have one drink with a prince then, darnit, that’s exactly what he was going to do.
Lost in London is almost certainly a fuzzy recollection. I find it hilarious that while Woody Harrelson not directed by Woody Harrelson is enjoying the very best days of his career, Woody Harrelson, director, got a very uneven performance out of Woody Harrelson, performer. It was very difficult to distinguish what motivated Woody during much of the evening as he seemed all over the place – however, this tale is partially worth the telling even if partially untrue. Yes, this is fairly indulgent stuff, but I’m gonna allow it as 1) the artist has portrayed himself as human, and 2) it does have some good moments. That’s as far as I’m willing to go.
Overindulged with cannabis and beers
Artist Woody indulges his fears
Stranded all on his own
Bearing sins to atone
Or being remembered only for “Cheers”
Not Rated, 100 Minutes
Director: Woody Harrelson
Writer: Woody Harrelson
Genre: Celebrity tomfoolery
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Woody Harrelson
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: I would have guessed Laura Louie, but they were married in 2008 (six years after the incident) and are currently not divorced.
