Before Joss Whedon created the best TV show ever, he tested the waters. I’m pretty sure the script Joss wrote for the 1992 film wasn’t meant to be more than silly fun, yet inside the inanity of a high school cheerleader who doubles as the greatest weapon mankind has against the evil undead lay the seeds of one of the most entertaining social commentaries the medium of television has ever offered. Who knew?
It’s possible you don’t know what I’m talking about. If that’s the case, I honestly feel sorry for you. It sounds stupid, right? “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” like “Biff the Nuclear Physicist” or “Donald Trump the President of the United States.” That, of course, is the charm of the idea. This embellishment on established legend states that while most humans are helpless to thwart the curse of vampires stalking the planet, one fairly agile and athletic teenager is charged with stopping them single-handedly. She is “the chosen one,” imbued with special powers and a desire to destroy bloodsuckers. To enhance this tale, Joss Whedon not only reinvented the mythology, but gave it a modern take, where the chosen one in question is hardly noble of body and soul, but instead a Valley Girl. Buffy (Kristy Swanson) is a semi-urban high school teen; like at least a few of her peers, she’s both ill-informed and vacuous. If this is humanity’s best chance to thwart the vampire revolution, prepare for neck-hole sweater season.
Like most American Mean Girls, Buffy has a cadre of underachieving friends who get straight Cs and go to the mall to celebrate. One of these friends, btw, is Hilary Swank. Hilary owns two Oscars (neither, surprisingly, for this performance). Let that sink in when you hear her scream at Buffy, “Get out of my facial!”
This is a fun movie for dialogue; most of Whedon’s work is. Joss Whedon has a wonderful take on the teen world as a separate entity, halfway between frivolity and onus. As a result, so many conversations in the Whedon teen world revolve around responsibility. I know that doesn’t sound terribly fun, but I think it’s a riot that a high school girl would willingly and happily choose cheerleading practice over saving-the-universe training. This is all presented tongue-in-cheek, but only those who have deliberately forgotten what it is to be a teenager would object to her choice outright.
The basic premise of the film is a very powerful centuries-old vampire, Lothos (Rutger Hauer), is ready to rise in El Lay. Slayer-trainer Merrick (Donald Sutherland) sees the signs and starts creeping around the high school where Buffy plays. Eventually, Merrick will need to convince Buffy that she is “the chosen one” and the only barrier to El Lay becoming a soulless Hellscape. Honestly, I’m not sure who could tell the difference. :rimshot:
While Hauer and Sutherland are completely serious about their roles, several others are not. Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens
) milks a death scene like he’s getting paid by the hour. The basketball coach spouts new age philosophy, “Now, what do we say on the court? Repeat after me: ‘I am a person. I have a right to the ball’.” And then there’s Luke Perry, the only reason I bothered seeing this film when it came out in 1992.
I cannot impress upon you enough how bad television was at the time. We watched “Beverly Hills 90210” because –seriously- it was darn near the only palatable show of the era. Movies do not reflect this, but there was an absolute dearth of quality or even mildly entertaining TV in the late 1980s and early 1990s. When you’re up to praising “Moonlighting” as the pinnacle of an era, you’re not making sense, let alone friends. Was TV really that bad? It was worse. Don’t believe me? Examine carefully the reasons that “Beavis and Butt-head” –a poorly drawn, disgustingly cynical cartoon about two coach potato morons- became a show everybody watched. That was the environment of TV in 1992. Of course I knew who Luke Perry was; of course I attended Buffy the Vampire Slayer to see if his career was going anywhere.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the film, enjoys the humor and empowerment of classic Whedon yet lacks both the tone and gravitas (not to mention the fight choreography) of the TV show. For the most part, the film is entertaining-but-throwaway junk. I love it for humoring me at the time, and leading to the WB’s first legitimate hit five years later. The TV show had much greater success at the extended metaphor of teens struggling to find their place in the world while beset by metaphorical demons. It is a slap-in-the-face to those perpetuating culture war stereotypes. Personally, I feel if you switched Millennials with the Greatest Generation, you get the same results: One goes off and fight Nazis, the other gets criticized for selfies. The generations are not nearly as different as old grumps like to believe. Watch a season of “Buffy” and you might just understand that the weight of being a teenager is –in its own way– every bit as oppressive as being called to serve your country in its time of need.
The fictional slayer–vampire saga
Is one that made hipsters go gaga
If only they knew
In 1992
No demon is as scary as MAGA
Rated PG-13, 86 Minutes
Director: Fran Rubel Kuzui
Writer: Joss Whedon
Genre: Birth of greatness
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Desperate TV fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Those who can’t sift past the velveeta
