Are there godmother safety schools? There must be. I mean for every Hogwarts there’s a Durmstrang, hence, for every Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo-niversity, there’s gotta be a Chico State, amIright?
Well, for all you youngsters who watched Cinderella and were more taken with the plight of the magic-wielding insta-solution machine than with the mistreated orphan, here’s a tale for you. Isn’t it about time we discussed magic instead of tragic? After all, who has the greater claim to our heartstrings than an immature perpetual college dorm genie?
That was all sarcasm; this was a bad idea for a film. Godmothered is a tale about the woes of a secondary character who nobody feels sorry for; it plays a lot like discount Elf. But other than that and the shoddy acting, it’s not the worst holiday film I’ve seen. It’s not, unfortunately, even the worst holiday film I’ve seen this season.
Eleanor (Jillian Bell) is a fairy godmother trainee (and a lousy one at that). She goes to school with women who appear twice her age and she’s lousy with the wand stuff. But she really cares, which -I suppose- counts for something. Told that godmothering is going the way of hand-drawn cartoons, Eleanor pushes back, raiding the archives for an unmet wish. That wish is gonna be Godmothered no matter what!
The joke here is that the wish is decades old; its author, Mackenzie (Isla Fisher) is now a frazzled single mother with a crappy job as a tabloid journalist. She grew out of dreams or godmother fantasies years ago. Gosh, isn’t it time that she started wishing for unrealistic things again? The other joke in this film is that Eleanor (like Will Ferrell in Elf) comes from fairy 
tale land and thus doesn’t really understand the East Coast or technology or customs or humans.
Here’s the difference: Elf was supposed to be about the Elf. It’s all in the title. Godmothered isn’t as sharp or funny as Elf, and I think the focus is off. Godmothered is much more about the godmother (why?) and her foibles than the recipients of her godsmothering. Well gee, why not look at the fairy godmother? She’s people too, right? I mean, except for the fact that “she” isn’t. I dunno. Do we need more background with this trope? I thought we had enough.
Godmothered is an obvious response to Elf: a Christmas fish-out-of-water finding their way among closed urbanites. Can her Christmas magic win the day? Sure, this is a film after all. Gotta say, I love Jillian Bell; I really wanted to know what she’d do after (what I consider her breakout film) Brittany Runs a Marathon. Godmothered is a bit of a letdown. It won’t hurt Jillian’s career, but mostly we get to see her be a doof instead of a comedienne. This is Disney stable acting. On top of that, the film itself comes with a few irksome details, like the resolve to a teen girl: “Wearing the only thing that really matters, a smile” (wow, is that some dated non-PC bullshit) and the realm of the fairies referred to as “The Motherland” (do you really want to go there, movie?) and, quite frankly, whatever June Squibb was doing. June delivers a bad performance as a clock. How do you do that? Godmothered will satisfy your impressionable children; the question really is, should it?
Eleanor was a godmother fairy
Who welcomed a situation quite hairy
Not sure what’s the deal
Did a spotlight she steal?
Matters not if your Christmas is merry
Rated PG, 110 Minutes
Director: Sharon Maguire
Writer: Kari Granlund, Melissa K. Stack
Genre: Elf-ish
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Your Disney-addled daughter
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Somebody who wanted to watch Elf
