Where’s mah Right Wing douchebags at? Don’t you live to shit all over stuff like this? For years, I’ve seen you happiestly trash any film you felt violated your oath to bigotry, injustice, or -simply- your tunnel vision of the world. As long a the stakes were low and the pwn factor high, Right Wing basement-of-mom’s-house dwellers have abused imdb like Trump abuses the constitution. No, I suppose it doesn’t specifically say you HAVE to see the movie before you rate it 1.0; it’s just something people with integrity do. I’ve included a link here, because it’s quite clear you need one.
So where are you? Here’s a freaking Christmas movie about lesbianism … and you’re just gonna let it pass? What’s up? Still hung up on Terminator: Dark Fate? Too much respect for Kristen Stewart? What? Man, you think you know a group by their tiki torches and allegiance to bullshit and then this happens. I’m thinking I’m not wrong; you assholes just forgot to circulate the memo what with all those “election fraud” rumors you pleasure yourselves to.
I digress. Happiest Season is Christmas film. And it’s hit-and-miss-and-hit-and-miss-then-two-hits-half-miss-then-a-big-miss- well, you get the point. For a frightening little exposé about coming out to one’s parents at the most wonderful time of the year, Happiest Season remained in the closet, risk-wise, opting for a standard Christmas ending with standard Christmas tropes and everyone off the “naughty” list no matter how poorly they behaved.
Abby (Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis) are a committed lesbian couple. Well, Abby is committed; if I’m being honest, Mackenzie Davis made a better lesbian-with-family-issues as a cyborg in Terminator: Dark Fate. Lacking for seasonal plans, Harper asks Abby to come to Christmas at her parents’ house. Except, oops, Harper forgot to tell her parents that she’s gay. And she forgot to tell he GF that she didn’t tell her parents. Well, this should be not-a-big-deal, right? I mean, this is 2020 after all and even Trumpsters acknowledge gay people exist even while seeking to deny their rights. Oh, except dad (Victor Garber) is running for mayor and mom (Mary Steenburgen) has basically said she doesn’t want surprises this week.
BTW, Harper’s sister Sloane (Alison Brie) is married to a black man (Burl Moseley); they have children. Answer me this: in conservative white America, which is the bigger taboo—being LGBTQ or marrying a black man and having mixed-race children? I think I could make a case for either. Point being, I don’t quite know how Harper’s coming out would be treated in public any different than Sloane’s marriage. The bigger scandal here is naming your child “Sloane.” Who does that?
This is a pretty fun cast, as you may have noticed; adding to that is Dan Levy as Abby’s home-based confidante and Aubrey Plaza
as Harper’s ex. So there’s more than a few people here who know their way around comedy, and I suppose I have to give it up a little for a desire to push homosexuality into the Christmas conversation. OTOH, it was hard to take Mackenzie Davis or Mackenzie Davis’ hair –how did you have better hair as a Terminator? How?! There are certain things that happen in Christmas based comedies –ALL Christmas-based comedies, btw, that make you want to pack it in and encourage everybody to give up. From shoplifting accusations to Judas-like denials, Happiest Season was –at times- very unhappy.
I like the theory of this film more than the film itself. The subject matter is long overdue and there are some legitimate laughs here. However, this is a picture begging to be added to your Christmas rotation … and it’s just not good enough. Home for the Holidays, for instance, is a much better example of dysfunctional families getting together out of masochistic habit rather than a true sense of devotion … and nobody watches that picture, either. Gotta say, KStew continues to improve, but it’s still gonna take about 200 more positive films to cleanse the Twilight palate; knowwhatI’msayin’?
Harper closets like a gifted champ
While her GF sets up basement camp
But her parents, when pressed
Will host any guest
So long as it’s not a brooding vamp
Rated PG-13, 107 Minutes
Director: Clea DuVall
Writer: Clea DuVall and Mary Holland
Genre: Homo for the Holidays? (I’m sorry; I just couldn’t resist. My most sincere apologies to all LGBTQ for my punning insensitivity)
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Kristen Stewart believers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The kind of family that “prays away the gay”
