Have you ever played Hearts? In the card game of Hearts, you deal out all the cards, everybody looks at their hand and proceeds to give three cards to somebody else. The rule-of-thumb is you tend to get pretty much what you gave away. That’s what Story Game feels like: you consume a story, you pass it along, and the one that fills its spot is pretty much the same quality as the one you just sloughed off.
The stories aren’t bad, but they aren’t good, either. They just keep rolling along until the film ends. The premise is three college-poor kids (Alberto Rosende, Lyrica Okano, Greer Grammer) are in Hawaii for a leech party. Unable to find a group to sponge off, they end up drinking beers in a public park and telling “scary” stories with the artificial constrictive themes of Japan, supernatural, green eyes, and mediocre.
Lessee if I remember the tales the kids tell:
- “It’s my prom and I’ll Carrie if I want to” The new girl is being picked on a school, but you might want to watch your back, Mean Girls, cuz Japanese kids with green eyes are obviously demons.
- “Me Too-san” A businessman aggressively pursues a woman that he really shouldn’t for a number of reasons, some of which are 1) He’s married 2) She doesn’t seem all that into him. Oh, and btw 3) She’s a monster. Dude, go to Hokkaido and check your libaido.
- “Opening up a bamboo stalk of whoop-ass” Somewhere in medieval Japan, a wannabe warlord who sucks at fighting is protected by a magic mask. I hope that thing works better at warding off COVID.
And in the meta portion, the tales are all forgotten in favor of a real time story I’m calling “Hungry Hungry Heliotrope.”
I would grade each of these tales a C. Not good. Not bad. Not memorable. There are
certainly worse movies. This one won’t offend or anger or depress or bore. But it also won’t elate or shock or delight or intrigue. Sometimes films like this are made because the writer/director has several “meh” ideas instead of one good one. The amazing part is usually in tales like that, the stories vary in quality because stories generally vary in quality. Here, writer/director Jason K. Lau has presented four stories you could line up and build a pool table upon without ever worrying for a single second that the table would slant and the balls will naturally favor one pocket over another.
I don’t like using this phrase because I think it’s the product of minds that have given up trying. However, describing Story Game with the words: “It is what it is” seems not only appropriate, but exactly what the phrase was intended for.
Some collegians hold a contest, how nice!
Have they got the oral skills to suffice?
Take a lesson from Clue
If quality won’t do
Make sure to tell an iffy story thrice
Not Rated, 98 Minutes
Director: Jason K. Lau
Writer: Jason K. Lau
Genre: Oh, another one? OK
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who don’t really care about quality stories
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People who do
