Is there an “Uber Connor” option — the one where you have a list of people you just gotta murder all in one night? What do you mean “I hope not?” You got something against Uber drivers? Terminators? Hey, they just gotta do their thing.
Both the director (Glenn Payne) and writer (Casey Dillard) appear in this film … and it’s shot almost entirely inside a small car, so if you’re thinking “camp,” you’re not wrong. And damn if these penny-pinching jokers didn’t almost pull it off. Driven is cheesy and almost fun. Soclose. You want to give ‘em the basket, but shot clock already expired.
Emerson (Dillard) is an Uber driver. Sorry, that’s a “Ferry” driver. It’s the same thing. Emerson is neurotic, timid, and gay…none of which matters. Suffice to say that if you’re employed as an Uber driver, odds are you got off life’s roundabout on the wrong street. This is certainly the case for Emerson who is coming off a bad breakup and polishes her tight ten constantly to an audience comprising entirely of the steering wheel.
Enter Roger (Richard Speight Jr.). He has a list of destinations for the evening and they may as well all read “Sarah Connor.” At destination #1, Emerson fiddles with the radio while the camera finds violence in the background. Yup, he’s pullin’ a Terminator, isn’t he? This, of course, begs the question, “did the Terminator take a cab?” That doesn’t sound very Terminator-like, does it? Why does Roger need to be Driven?
I’m not going to spoil anymore. Suffice to say both stupid and clever lie ahead.
The stupid is such that I almost stopped watching the film. The clever does not adequately compensate, but it kept me from turning the thing off. At some point, the Uber driver (oops, again, “Ferry” driver) is surely gonna realize that she’s just –for lack of a better word- ferry-ing her unfair fare fairly to his next big felony, right? And it’s a shame this film wasn’t produced by either Will Ferrell or Colin Farrell, no? The bulk of the film is the relationship between driver and passenger, which seems odd given the passenger has a pretty plot-worthy “to do” list, but I can’t say the film was any worse for what it chose to show the audience.
I’m not going to pretend Driven was great art or had great humor, but it was on par with the last Driven I’d seen, which was a much bigger picture in many ways. Perhaps this Driven can be summarily proud of its two stars. Congratulations, you got the same review at a fraction of the cost. I’m pretty sure that’s not how films works.
Psst. This film has nothing to do with Terminators.
There once was a Terminator
Who opted for a homicide cater
Driven from hit to hit
Cuz Skynet forgot to fit
A comprehensive GPS navigator
Not Rated, 90 Minutes
Director: Glenn Payne
Writer: Casey Dillard
Genre: Buffy lite
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Bored teens
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Actual dignified demons
