Reminding us all that “badass” requires more than just having an ass, Megan Fox transformed her way onto the small screen with her latest tour-de-farce, Rogue. I do not know what exactly “Rogue” means in the context of mercenaries hired to spring a victim of human trafficking, but to me it means the screenwriter put as much thought into it as the CGI team put into their obviously fake lion.
There are two locations in Rogue, but they look pretty much like the same location with slightly different stuff. Location #1 is a “lion farm.” The movie wanted us to know it was a lion farm and lion farming is a thing … lions are deliberately captured and bred for the purposes of biological souvenirs and vanity hunting. This is horrible. I agree, film. This is horrible. Location #2 had human trafficking. The film made no comment about the human trafficking, and gladly sacrificed the whiniest member of those trafficked to a CGI gator only slightly faker than the CGI lion (that’s a Hell of an acting résumé, huh? “What was your biggest moment on film?” “I got eaten by a shitty special effect”). While I’m no fan of lion farms, human trafficking –to my mind- is slightly worse, but perhaps the film found it redundant or superfluous to complain about both practices.
After a fake lioness escapes from Location #1, we are taken to Location #2 where a military operation is about to take place. This is an operation where the team leader, Samantha O’Hara (Fox), dressed for the occasion in full make-up and a baseball cap. Cuz, you know, dress for the job you want, not the job you have … and Sam would clearly rather be one of those women who retrieves baseballs in foul ground that someone who gives orders while holding an AK-47.
I don’t know anything about military from personal experience. All I know is what I see on film…but, when you have explosives, why would you use them as a distraction? And wouldn’t you get a good fix on where there extraction target is before you detonate? And if you’re willing to kill the human traffickers and you have the “drop” on them, so-to-speak, wouldn’t you? So much confused me in act I, it was hard to keep all the idiocy straight. Let me see if I can do a play-by-play, team Rogue –paid to retrieve somebody’s daughter from evil warlord guy – set off explosives not knowing exactly where their payday girl was housed and the explosives themselves served as little more than the announcement: “hey, we’re here. Make sure to start shooting at us.” This all makes me believe you weren’t taking your job very seriously…some mercenaries you are.
And I haven’t
even gotten into the worst of this film: “real” animals that don’t look or act like any animal on this Earth.
Lately we’ve had such a wealth of believable female badasses: Jessica Chastain in Ava, Sasha Luss in Anna, Jennifer Lawrence in Red Sparrow, Charlize Theron in Fury Road, The Old Guard, Atomic Blonde and seventeen other films … that I’d forgotten what it was when a woman is not believable as a badass. Thank you, Megan Fox, you have reminded me once again that acting isn’t nearly as easy as it looks.
While the CGI lends a fake feel to the picture, I wouldn’t call Rogue fake so much as “knock-off.” This is what you get when your ambitions are high, but your coffers are low. This entire film feels like it was purchased on discount. Knock-off heroine, knock-off mission, knock-off sets, knock-off script, knock-off action, knock-off CGI, knock-off film. Rogue tried to compensate with extra blood and a weird plea for lions-but-not-humans. In the end, however, this is a bad film and I really don’t recommend it for anyone, even those in love with Megan Fox.
The villagers all fill with dread
When a lioness hunts for their head
Is that our savior?
Not wild ‘bout her behavior
Next time, CGI Megan Fox instead
Rated R, 105 Minutes
Director: M.J. Bassett
Writers: Isabel Bassett, M.J. Bassett
Genre: Megan Fox vehicles?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Megan Fox?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Lions offended by their CGI depiction here
