By my estimation, there have now been three attempts to bring everybody’s favorite lovable, cowardly, gluttonous, speech-impedimented, mystery-solving canine to the big screen. And this is the third fail. The weird part? “Scooby-Doo” has existed in our pop-culture consciousness for over fifty years; the format is formulaic and the characters (almost) never change, grow, or expand. There simply isn’t a need to screw with what people like, and yet, three movies, three distinctly hybrid Scooby plots/enhanced Scooby backgrounds and three distinct failures. You tell me what’s wrong with this picture.
Like the recent abomination Space Jam 2, Scoob! is as much an ad as it is a movie. Unlike Space Jam 2, however, Hanna-Barbera doesn’t have a great deal to sell these days that isn’t Scooby-Doo, so the patter comes off as nostalgia for an audience it isn’t capturing rather than a forced deathmarch to the mall. That still doesn’t excuse the standard mystery plot being scrapped in favor of an abduction by son of the Blue Falcon and the standard local costumed villain scrapped in favor of Dick Dastardly and Muttley.
Consider the Scooby-Doo audience. No, not the one where you may or may not be a member, the one likely to see this film. I’m picturing children. Name the non-me adult who will go out their way to see Scoob! by themselves. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Now tell me what ice-cream smeared nine-year-old Rooby Rooby Roo fan has a working knowledge of Dick Dastardly or Blue Falcon…or would care even if they did. If you needed to revive Dick Dastardly so badly, producers/writers/director, why didn’t you just make a film entitled “The Wacky Races” or “Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines” or “The Laff-A-Lympics?”
Here’s the thing – when you take the Scooby-Doo gang and you add in Dick Dastardly, Muttley, Blue Falcon, Blue Falcon’s compatriots, and Simon Cowell (yes, the real Simon Cowell, why?!), what you’re really saying is, “I have zero confidence that Scooby-Doo and his pals can carry a film entitled Scoob!” Makes sense; we’ve only loved these characters for fifty-two years now.
The film starts with the original When Shaggy Meets Scooby moment. It’s a good meet cute. Under
duress, Li’l Shaggy invents the name “Scooby Dooby Doo” to thwart a beach cop who can’t press charges “because the dog has a middle name.” (HA!) At Halloween, the two meet Li’l Velma, Li’l Fred, & Li’l Daphne and the quintet become inseparable … or so I thought.
The next scene, however, they’re adults and a meet with Simon Cowell prompts Velma (voice of Gina Rodriguez), Fred (Zac Efron), & Daphne (Amanda Seyfried) to ditch Shaggy (Will Forte) and Scooby (Frank Welker). Wow, that’s a bad plot. You’re gonna teach kids the value of friendship by forcing the “normal” Scoobies to separate from the hippie Scoobies … only to realize an hour later they made a mistake? The idiocy is compounded when bowling balls and pins turn out to be robotic alien death machines and Shaggy/Scooby have to flee for the lives only to be rescued by the tractor beam from the Blue Falcon (Mark Walhberg).
Not only is this not Scooby-Doo, this isn’t even fun. I don’t want a Scooby-Doo/superhero cartoon hybrid; I would much rather see the Scooby origin story; y’know, the plain ol’ adventures of li’l Scooby-Doo. I don’t think I’m alone.
I know this review is late
And I don’t want to fill it with hate
But your story of Scooby
Is –ous rather dubi
This Dane landed well shy of “Great”
Rated PG, 93 Minutes
Director: Tony Cervone
Writer: Adam Sztykiel, Jack C. Donaldson, Derek Elliott
Genre: Movies you waited for … why?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Scooby-Doo fanatics
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Scooby-Doo fanatics
