At some point, I’m going to have to figure out why Red Notice was watchable while The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard was not. Maybe this is that point. On its face, it makes no sense; they’re both globetrotting reluctant buddy adventures with talented likable people. Ryan Reynolds plays the same character in every film he’s in, so that can’t be it, right? And we love The Rock, but do we really love The Rock more than we love Samuel L. Jackson? I don’t think so. Does it all come down to Gal Gadot is tons more watchable than Salma Hayek? That doesn’t make sense, either.
Honestly, I think it comes down to random yelling/complaining v. random smarminess. Bodyguard has A LOT of complaining, buffered only by Hayek appearing and yelling at someone. Red Notice, OTOH, has almost no complaining – despite the heroes forced into Siberian jail. Gal Gadot doesn’t yell at anyone, ever. She does ooze smarm in this picture like she’s been tutored exclusively by Angelina Jolie, but –hey- I like that better than yelling. For now.
Red Notice put the MacGuffin front and center in this film, introducing “Cleopatra’s Eggs” at the outset as the thing(s) we’re going to globetrot for. (Can’t say I’m wild about the manufactured choice of MacGuffin; it sounds like the Ancient Egyptians had advanced fertility clinics, but whatever, a MacGuffin is a MacGuffin). American Agent John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson) is on hand at the Rome unveil of egg #1 only to discover 15 seconds later the egg is a fake, and –hey- that high profile international thief, Nolan Booth (Reynolds), is right there trying to get away with the theft. Several staircases, a four-level scaffolding, a broken stained glass window and some successful plummets later, Hartley neither has man nor egg. But the chase was fun, no?
Next scene, Hartley is in Bali, having gotten to Booth’s lair ahead of Booth. It’s best if you not ask “how did he know?” at any of the dozens of junctures where that question may appear in your head. Simply accept Red Notice as a film where everybody knows exactly what they need to know when they need to know it and no sooner … and without explanation. OK, without plausible explanation.
So Hartley sends Booth to the gulag, and then Hartley’s international partner (Ritu Arya) gets evidence that Hartley was the true thief… Wait. Wait. Wait. You’ll NEVER guess where he gets sent. NEVER. NEVER EVER. Did you say “the same cell where he just sent Booth?” Dammit, you guessed. Yes, this is stupid contrivance, unless you like the idea of Ryan Reynolds and Dwayne Johnson reluctantly choosing partnership to escape a Russian gulag. And, let’s face it; would you be watching this film if wasn’t the kind of thing you were hoping to see?
Speaking of “hoping to see?” … is this giant frame job the work of Bishop (Gal Gadot), the world’s greatest 
thief? You pretty much know that if Gal Gadot is in the credits, sooner or later, she’s going to have a prominent role. Is she worth the wait? Partially. It’s hard to dislike Gadot these days, but I sure didn’t warm to the smarm she brought to the screen this time around. Look movie, show Gadot smiling or punching and then just go back to the buddy picture stuff.
Most of Red Notice is the uneasy alliance between the always unserious Ryan Reynolds as the bad guy teamed up with the occasionally unserious Dwayne Johnson as the good guy. Oh, and there’s running and punching and gunning and bulleting and missile-ing and helicoptering and bulldodging and prison fighting and super-thieving and other delightful silliness-ing. We even end up at a South American waterfall at some point so that The Rock could take time off this set to film Jungle Cruise 2. If you don’t take any of this seriously … and why would you? I think Red Notice is a pretty good popcorn film. Nobody in this film is doing their best work, but nobody needs to; the screen is going to have Reynolds or Johnson or Gadot on it at all times … and all times they’re either smiling, stealing, wise-cracking, bashing, or a combination thereof. Yes, this film is exactly what you think it is, and that’s ok. A film doesn’t need much else, and this one blows up crap, too. Whaddayawant?
A mass appeal to the conventional true
Feel good film for every one of you
Ryan and the Rock
You think this is a crock?
Just wait until Red Notice 2
Rated PG-13, 118 Minutes
Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber
Writer: Rawson Marshall Thurber
Genre: Feel good film
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of any cast member
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: True art lovers
