THE 2020 CINEMATIC YEAR IN REVIEW

Hollywood blew it. And not just a little. Fellas, you picked a terrible year to have a terrible year.

Look, I’m not going to be here long. I don’t think 2020 justified the same sort of effort I put into previous years. Were there good films? There were. But what’s missing in my mind is the bulk, in poor, outstanding, and a glut of-satisfying-if-not-spectacular offerings. I’m not paring down a list of 50-75 films I enjoyed to a top 10 and a host of honorable mentions. This was the easiest top 10 list I’ve made in 20 years. Yeah: that, that, that, that, and that. I’m not even debating.  Why? Because when Hollywood realized we couldn’t go to films, it by-and-large stopped releasing films. This stands to reason from a logical and health perspective, but from a marketing perspective, Hollywood blew it, big time. 2020 should have been the year in which we all said: “Damn, I miss going to the movies” and studios should have been right there to stoke that feeling.

Is that what happened? Not even close.

What are the takeaways from pandemic TV? Here’s what I remember: “Tiger King” and “The Queen’s Gambit,” neither of which were built for theaters. Several advertised films were withheld. The ones that weren’t were … to put it mildly, blah. I waited months to see Tenet and

longer to catch Wonder Woman 1984. Both were disappointing. Meanwhile, several films were simply not released. Given such a skimpy year for films in general, this seemed unconscionable.

Here are some major titles that should have been available in 2020. They were all finalized or in post-production when the pandemic hit:

F9
A Quiet Place Part II
Free Guy
No Time to Die
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
Black Widow

Here are some major titles we got to see instead:

Tenet
Wonder Woman 1984
Soul
Scoob!
Bill & Ted Face the Music
Mulan

Now I made the mistake of comparing the two lists with the thesis that the better films were withheld from us. While I don’t think the thesis wrong, per se, the numbers don’t bear it: the weighted average imdb score of pool A is 6.89 (submarined almost entirely by F9’s ugly 5.2) and the weighted score of pool B is 6.87 (buoyed by Tenet’s 7.4 and Soul’s 8.1). I still like pool 1 a ton better than pool 2, but that’s irrelevant. The thesis is wrong not because the facts are wrong but instead by the assumption that these pools were meant to compete.

There is zero reason we shouldn’t have seen Free Guy or Black Widow or No Time to Die in 2020. None. There was more than enough room in 2020 to show us all of these films. The bottom line is studios made a conscious choice to withhold films from us, assuming that we would all come back. In the interim, we changed how we consumed movies. Hollywood didn’t bank on that. Now theaters are open again, and some of us came back, sure. Many of us did not. How we consumed film in 2020 changed, and some of the changes are permanent. As a result, the studios and the products prepared for consumption are changing as well, if they have not already. I don’t say this is the end of theaters; I just say changes are being made, and fans of movies are not going to like all of them.

They might not like any of them. At a critical time for movies, Hollywood was stingy with titles and instead of making us collectively long for theaters, we reasoned –for the most part- that Netflix, Hulu, Disney, and HBO Max were acceptable alternatives. So right now, we should be debating DC v. Marvel, who will be the next 007, or how politics is shaping entertainment. But we -by and large- are not. None of us should know who Carole Baskin is.

Speaking of politics, this brief snapshot of 2020 will be politics-laden. Why? Because there wasn’t anything bigger in the world of 2020. Politics drove our response to a pandemic. Think about that. Politics is so important to our identity that it affected how we responded to a world-wide disease. Think it didn’t influence art? Honey, whatever art appeared in 2020 got put into one of three camps: political commentary, “entertaining,” and useless.

So I’m going to talk politics for a bunch of this. You don’t have to listen.

2020 – YEAR OF THE DOCUMENTARY

Do you know the worst trait of Donald Trump is? I know, I know. It’s not like we lack for suggestions: the narcissism, the constant lying, the gaslighting, the enormous-yet-fragile ego, the megalomania, the corruption, the bullying, the lawlessness, the pettiness, the spitefulness, the complete lack of morals, the complete inability to rise to any occasion, the complete lack of integrity, the constant weakness on display, the veneration for dictators, the misogyny, the racism, the stupidity, the total and complete lack of humility … any of these character traits in another President should be enough to give Americans pause, the fact that one XXXXL-sized dungheap of mock humanity has all of them and more makes me weep for any supporters.

For me, however, one stands above them all, and it’s one you don’t generally consider: Donald’s lack of intellectual curiosity. Lack of intellectual curiosity is a bad trait in any human – it means you’re incapable of growth; in your mind, you already know what there is to know. You pretty much level out where you are; it’s a great way to describe MAGA in general. In a President, this characteristic is pitiful. Think of what you can know as President of the United States. You have access to almost every knowable piece of information that can be known, all you have to do is ask. Is there evidence of alien life? Is there a God? What did Putin have for breakfast? If these things can be known, the only person who can know all of them is the President of the United States.

With access to more facts than any other being who has ever lived on this planet, what did Trump choose to learn? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In fact, it was worse than that, because he so often parroted talking points directly fabricated by RW media propaganda. So his actual learning while in office went down. He came out knowing more untruths than when he started. And there’s no evidence the man learned a single true thing while in office.

Now, “WTF does this have to do with movies?” I’m glad you asked. 2020 was a crappy year for film. It was a crappy year for dramas, comedies, adventures, horrors, animation, sci-fi, family film… this wasn’t unique to Hollywood; it was a crappy year for foreign film as well. Ask any country you care to. The reason was pretty obvious; the planet reacted to COVID by hiding – it makes for lousy source material and lousier productions in terms of both quality and volume. But you know the one genre that didn’t really suffer? Documentary. Why? Because documentaries were a direct response to the misinformation that flourished under President Trump. Every documentary could start with a board stating, “Well, actually…” because 90% of them exist to answer questions somebody got wrong.

What made the most noise on TV in 2020? “Tiger King,” documentary.
What do you suppose was the most important film in 2020? Nomadland? Ummm… no.  Nomadland was a detailed description of the pain of white Americans betrayed by corporations without any exploration of that betrayal … try again. Mank? A tribute to the most overrated film in movie history? HA! How about Judas and the Black Messiah? That wasn’t even the important film in 2020 to chronicle the death of Fred Hampton.

No, the most important film, and, imho, the best (almost entirely because of its importance) was The Social Dilemma, a film that describes why you, yes YOU, are addicted to your phone. It’s impossible to understate the power of social media at this time. It’s also impossible to understate the abuse of the power of social media at this time. There’s only one film from 2020 I would call a MUST SEE, and this is it.

True journalism has been replaced by punditry, which is simply another form of documentary. From Stephen Colbert to Trevor Noah, our late night comedy hosts seem to be documentarians if nothing else; these are the folks who are chronicling modern life through smash cuts of reality. Heck, even the Pillow Guy is making documentaries. Sure, they’re full of dubious conclusions and flat-out lies, but think of the medium that is being used – this is how we consume information in 2020. It won’t stop any time soon.

Now, what were some 2020 documentaries worth seeing?
The Social Dilemma
In & Of Itself – a philosophy lecture disguised as a magic show. If you see it, you’ll love it and never forget it.
Crip Camp – A chronicle of summer love for those who rarely get enough
Assassins – A serious look at the public assassination of Kim Jong-Nam, half brother of Kim Jong-un
76 Days – The COVID outbreak from the perspective of Wuhan

What’s a documentary I will initially enjoy and then kinda find it disturbing?
My Octopus Teacher
The Last Blockbuster

Most people aren’t “documentary people.” Let me rephrase. Most people do not think they are documentary people. But, let’s face it, If you are addicted to TikTok or YouTube, odds are you are and just don’t think of yourself that way. At the end of the day, there’s not much difference between ten seconds of “reality TV” and an editor stringing together one hundred ten-second reality clips to make a cogent point.

MOVIES THAT PISSED ME OFF
The worst films of 2020

10. Wonder Woman 1984

An apt finale
To honor the end of a
Painful year in film

9. Artemis Fowl
Judi Dench, the elf
I would say more but, hey, do
I really need to?

8. I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Charlie Kaufman’s brain
Is all over this static
Where is the guy’s heart?

7. The Grudge
Got a bone to pick
But it’s more than that …this film…
Cannot find the word

6. Impractical Jokers: The Movie
You know what’s worse than
Humiliating hijinks
Ones that aren’t funny

5. The Stand In
Actress and double
Notoriety battle
Drew phones it in twice

4. Pinocchio
How much pan could a
Wood-carve man create if he
Carved Pinocchio?

3. Aloha Surf Hotel
You didn’t see this
And, rest assured, there isn’t
A reason to now

2. Downhill
I would like to say
That the title is apt but
It started poorly

1. Hillbilly Elegy
Even dirt poor rednecks
Know the exact flavor of
White Supremacy

GUILTY PLEASURES

Movies I enjoyed, but shouldn’t have…I should really be offering reasons here, but isn’t it enough that we all accept that I shouldn’t’ have enjoyed these films?

Croods: A New Age
Phineas & Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe
The Midnight Sky
Sonic the Hedgehog
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
The Invisible Man
The Lovebirds

MOVIES THAT WERE JUST PLAIN TOUGH TO WATCH

The Father
An honest look at dementia. fantastic

Pieces of a Woman/Promising Young Woman
One lost a baby, another lost a friend. Both are fractured versions of themselves, sad reminders of what life might have been like before pain.

Nomadland
Speaking of broken women…

New Order
Want to see civilization devolve in real time?

Sound of Metal
A musician goes deaf; how fair is that?

Shirley
Surely, Jackson must have been saner than this.

Gretel & Hansel/Pinocchio
I’m not sure how to put this – but even if I liked your film inspired by children’s fiction, I would find this very difficult to watch because the cinematography is a Hellscape. Did you do that on purpose? Good lord, why?

I’m Thinking of Ending Things
Starting with my trust in Charlie Kaufman

The King of Staten Island
Well, now I understand Pete Davidson a little better. So what.

The United States vs. Billie Holiday
There are some performers you wish were just performers. Billie Holiday now tops that list.

THE WEIRD PLOTS OF 2020

Can’t say these were always the best films, but … they were films all right. Here are some of my favorite –and not favorite- plots of 2020 film:

Secret Zoo
A zoo on the brink of bankruptcy has to sell off all the animals, so the zookeepers dress up as exhibits to keep the business afloat.

Spontaneous
Exploding teenagers

Freaky
Body switch between promster and serial murderer

Antebellum
Slavery never died?!

One Night in Miami
Muhammad Ali, Malcolm X, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke all meet for a private party

Vampires vs. the Bronx
‘Nuff said

Bad Hair
A killer weave. Literally.

Kajillionaire
The world of low, low, low level con artistry

Midnight Swan
A transgender cabaret performer acquires a teenage flatmate

MONSTER BOXES

OK, OK, this one is entirely about the blog, not necessarily 2020.  Recently, I have begun adding “monster boxes” to help spice up reviews, especially horror reviews.  Here are some of my favorite monster boxes from films I reviewed in 2020:

Save Yourselves!

Over the Moon

Bloodshot

Mom and Dad

Dune

The Old Guard

Artemis Fowl

13th

Sonic the Hedgehog

Twilight

ART AND POLITICS

2020 was –to say the very least- a monumental year in politics. In 2016, the country saw fit to hire an immature narcissistic conman for the most important job in the world. The 2020 election was the reckoning for what we had done. And by the time the first impeachment trial was over, two things were crystal clear to anyone paying attention: 1) That the out-of-control, perpetually lawless, angry manchild would quite literally do or say anything to hold onto power and 2) His political party of sycophants, trolls, bigots, and other random deplorables had no intention whatsoever of holding him –or anyone else among them for that matter- accountable … because the entire lot treasures schadenfreude far beyond responsibility.

Politics dominated everything American life in 2020, so let’s see how our art reflected the political climate. And keep in mind with this section that I am grading the film entirely for how well it reflected current politics; I am not evaluating it for anything else. Show me … A PRESIDENT AND HIS PARTY COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL …

The Hunt: D+

A truly bizarre film, considering. A group of elitist Lefties decides to kidnap, knock out, and relocate RW influencers to a private remote glade where they can be hunted for sport. The film essentially says that Lefties can and will be equally as ignorant, violent and fascist as Righties if given a chance. Not only did this film completely misread the politics of the current Left in the United States, it took place in the same election cycle where misinformed Right Wingers staged a violent coup with the intention of overturning a fair election. It’s like the filmmakers saw the signs with crystal clarity … and completely misread them all the same.

The Old Guard: C-

Another film that saw all the signs and misinterpreted them. It’s up to us to decide whether such was deliberate. The Old Guard describes a team of immortal mercenaries committed to helping the helpless, like a perpetual “A Team.” More often than not, however, doing so means screwing with local governments and often changing political futures. The nutso part to me was the almost deliberate randomness of world targets while ignoring the political imbalance and thuggery going on right in our own backyard. Promoting political change at the point of a gun is never an idea worth advocating, and looked all the sillier in failing to describe the kind of people who would seek to do so in real life on January 6.

Cuties: B-

A classic self-own. This French film about the oversexualization of today’s children wanted to make a statement along the lines of: “we shouldn’t be pushing sex on kids.” Unfortunately, RW Americans only took note of “kids” and “sex” and the hate machine came out in full force, condemning the film, sight unseen, as only the Right can do. For a group that constantly complains about “cancel culture,” this is exactly what you did, and I can flat-put guarantee 99% of the haters never saw the film.

The Trial of the Chicago 7: A-

This one kind of lucked into prescience. Aaron Sorkin’s re-account of anti-Vietnam protesters brought up on riot charges would have been astute by itself in reflecting on the dangers of the imbalanced judiciary that Mitch McConnell has almost single-handedly engineered. However, the film’s release and nominations coincided almost perfectly with Trump’s second impeachment. There is an uncanny, almost eerie, parallel between the two.

Nomadland: C-
Chloé Zhao did a fantastic job of exhibiting the corrosive side-effects of rampant unchecked corporate greed on a micro level. The writer/director, however, did a piss-poor job of showing who is to blame for the policies that have crippled needlessly.

Da 5 Bloods: C

Hey, Spike Lee is doing Vietnam; hold on to your bell-bottoms, groovesters, we should be in for the mother of all lectures. Wait. What’s this? An actual movie? WTF? Shouldn’t you be reminding us with every rice paddy how exploitive and self-defeating American foreign policy is, was, and will be? Platoon was more political than this film. You changed, man.

Judas and the Black Messiah: B
The film about the rise and fall of Chicago Black Panther Fred Hampton made the noises it should have made and drew the parallels it should have drawn, yet one can’t help thinking this material was handled better and in a fraction of the time by The Trial of the Chicago 7.

All In: The Fight for Democracy: A
This has become a must-see for anybody who still believes in American democracy. Instead of merely describing past ways in which the Republican Party has tilted the playing field, it has become a blueprint for what they’re doing now.

Wonder Woman 1984: B+
Of all the villains of 2020, none was more Trump-like than the one in Wonder Woman 1984. Co-star Pedro Pascal played Maxwell Lord, a glorified conman and perpetual mediocrity who thieves the ability to make people do what he wants. I’m not sure what says “Trump” more than that description. (Or Pre-President Trump, at least.) The Trumpian comparison, of course, is one among many of the film’s problems – as Trump himself is not smart or clever or strong or cunning or sly or quick or above average in any attribute you’d like to see in either a superhero or supervillain, a mock-Trump similarly flails on screen. And, of course, the comparison is lost completely when Maxwell Lord shows true affection for a family member.

Irresistible: F

Jon Stewart looked around and saw lobbying the middle ground as the biggest problem in US politics. Oh, lobbying is a problem, all right, but in 2020 it’s the equivalent of being an unarmed toreador and noting the bull that’s going to gore you to death has mange.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: A

Borat Nailed it. The tongue-in-cheek undercover work of Sacha Baron Cohen through the heart of Trumpland completely exposed American Exceptionalism for the myth that it is. Not only did Borat find it oh-so-easy to identify stomach-turning uninformed political bias everywhere he went, he brought light to the idea that conspiracy-minded RW individuals can be honest, decent human beings, and dangerously uneducated willing saps at the exact same time. He also exposed Rudy Giuliani before Giuliani was able to expose himself; the release of this film should have ended Giuliani’s career. Period. But, of course, a major embarrassment like this that would have ended any Dem’s career in a heartbeat is completely ignored by the Right.  Trumpers just don’t care about truth, perception, or accountability – and Borat skewered them all for it.

And with the Borat exposé, I have a message for all people who still support Trump: In case you had not noticed, Donald Trump is a miserable and terrible human being. He cares about nothing but himself and every single thing he does reflects this. In order to believe that this monster has your, mine, or the country’s best interests at heart, you have to have embraced one or more dangerous and demonstrable untruths. It no longer matters whether it’s Pizzagate, the BIG LIE, Trickle-Down Economics, or any of the dozens of other deliberate and lethal fibs. Whatever “objective” criteria you use to justify Trump love, they’re all lies and they’re all dangerous. And whatever your subjective reason makes you look like a douchebag. What’s more is that despite your embrace of the monster and steadfast refusal to change your voting patterns, you seem dissatisfied with the results and –much like Trump- both unable to admit your mistake and completely unwilling to accept any responsibility for your actions. I hear Southern Republicans are ready to secede again. Unbelievable. You never vote blue, you don’t like the results, and somehow it’s all the fault of Democrats?! You want to rethink that one, chief? Hillary Clinton understated it; if you continue to support the orange turd in 2021, you are deplorable, not just half of you, each and every one of you.

FILMS THAT DIDN’T QUITE MAKE THE TOP 10

Minari
Koreans in Arkansas. If nothing else, kudos for originality.

Beauty Water
There should be more films that rip the image-for-profit industry.

Get the Hell Out
A zombie film about politics…or a political film about zombies.  Hard to tell, but awesome.

I Care A Lot
This film asks the question: “Who is more evil, mobsters or people that prey on the elderly?” Regardless of answer, I love that this is a question.

CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP O-VER-RATE-ED, 2020 VERSION

Tenet
Top of the 2020 overrateds – overlong, even more confusing than lengthy, and keeps the audience wondering why dudes on screen aren’t constantly puzzled by time heading in different directions

Nomadland
I’ve said enough about this film already

Mank
I’m asking this in all sincerity: do we really give a crap about the legend of Citizen Kane?

Enola Holmes
Millie Bobby Brown, Henry Cavill, and Sam Clafin are all doing better things on Netflix right now. Go watch their other stuff

On the Rocks
Can we all just accept that Sofia Coppola’s lone contribution to art was Lost in Translation and leave it at that? On the Rocks defines “cringe-worthy.”

The White Tiger
It’s fashionable to enjoy this rags-to-riches Indian tale. My observation is the world have been better place had he not succeeded.

MOVIES THAT DIDN’T PISS ME OFF
The Best Films of 2020, WOO!

10. Love and Monsters
Radiation makes
Freaky alterations. Hint:
It’s not about love

9. Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
Not your basic boy
Do ask when you see him walk
His pet polar bear

8. A Quiet Place Part II
Still fast and lethal
But it’s worse than all that noise
Cuz humans suck, too

7 (Tie) GROUNDHOGGERY: Boss Level/Palm Springs
Repeating a day
Overmuch is prob most fun
For the editor

6. Spontaneous
Combustion in class
Is a fantastic excuse
To not do homework

5. Onward
Trolls who don’t make you
Cry, fume, or vacate a room?
This must be Pixar

4. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Sacha Baron C.
Had a great year. Wonder if
Anyone noticed?

3. In & Of Itself
Sans philosophy
Magic is just an excuse
To put on a cape

2. The Trial of the Chicago 7
A fifty year old
Memory begs the question:
When was justice just?

1. The Social Dilemma

Is Baader-Meinhof
Real or is modern tech
Manipulative?

Look, it wasn’t a great year for film. Anyone who pretends otherwise is a lying liar from Liarsville. On top of that, the way we watch films has changed and the way we think about films is far more political than it ever was before. I cannot say these changes have made for better film. OTOH, reality isn’t done with movie theaters quite yet. And the ten –er, eleven- films I just listed are all worth seeing. Do what you will.

Peace, love, Frog.