Last week, NPR published a list of 100 new Christmas films. Lifetime, Hallmark, UPtv, and VH1 have all signaled that if you own a Christmas tree and video recorder of some sort, there’s a December slot for you. Is it that easy to make a Christmas movie? I’m gonna say “yes.” Nobody greenlights 100 films in the same year in the same genre without ease being among the considerations. Is it easy to make a GOOD Christmas film? No. Not even a little 8-bit. One of the biggest problems is almost all Christmas films have the same theme and formula, so getting an audience to distinguish one from another takes some doing. Which brings us to today’s film, my favorite 2021 –and I daresay likely the best of a crowded field of newcomers- entry into the holiday film playlist, 8-Bit Christmas.
Like any other Christmas film to come out right now, 8-Bit Christmas will remind you of another Christmas film, in this case A Christmas Story. In fact, 8-Bit Christmas is so similar, one could be forgiven for assuming it is a modern remake of the Peter Billingsley classic. Basically, a nerdy kid gets obsessed with a Christmas toy his eccentric parents disapprove of. That’s my basic one-sentence description of both films.
Jake Doyle (Neil Patrick Harris as our narrator, Winslow Fegley as our hero) guides us through a childhood fraught with *gasp* being a child. Young Jake and his friends live in a time where the greatest technology available for public consumption is a Nintendo gaming system. Only one kid in the neighborhood owns one, and that kid lords the ownership like a slavemaster granting a bathroom break on a plantation. The scene is comical enough – Timmy Keane (Chandler Dean) watches the downtrodden masses huddle on his doorstep and selects ten “lucky” souls – sometimes with bribes- to (essentially) hang out in the rec room while Timmy plays Nintendo and eats pop tarts.
Congrats, Timmy, you’re such a terrible friend, everybody wants their own Nintendo just so they won’t have to play with you.
And this is where the plot rolls in. Jake sees his life’s destiny unfulfilled without acquiring his own Nintendo game system. Unfortunately for Jake, his parents (June Diane Raphael and Steve Zahn) are not on board, having attended a lecture on the evils of gaming. Oh, parents can just be so gullible, huh? 
Cue the Fresh Prince. The film is, essentially, Neil Patrick Harris describing to his own child the lengths he and his gang went to for Nintendo. In a way, this is the best ad campaign Nintendo ever had.
8-Bit Christmas represents a classic kid dilemma: how do you get something your parents don’t want you to have? That’s a theme recognizable even when holidays aren’t around, which makes it more accessible. The best Christmas movies aren’t really about Christmas at all; it’s just a backdrop. Most Christmas movies, for instance, won’t have a subplot revolve around the “f*** face” Billy Ripken baseball card. Now, aside from the classic dilemma and the lengths at which Jake is willing to go to get it, what I enjoyed most about 8-Bit Christmas was the relationships. There was the relationship between Jake and his friend group which could have devolved out of frustration to “every kid for themselves.” It didn’t. There was the relationship between Jake and his younger sister. They form an uneasy alliance because she wants a Cabbage Patch Doll. That one could have gone south at any time, but didn’t. Lastly, there’s the relationship between Jake and his suddenly authoritarian parents. It was wonderful of 8-Bit Christmas to recognize them as adversarial only on the one front; the rest of the time, they were fine. Yes, I suppose it is a Christmas movie after all.
For me, this film is most likely recognized as a poor man’s A Christmas Story. There’s nothing wrong with that; I love A Christmas Story. 8-Bit Christmas works similar material without being quite as good … but it does mean I may watch it again as Christmastime one day … which is more than I can say for the100 other new Christmas films out this season.
♪Suburb front walks and their backyards filled with dog poop galore
In the house, there’s a child who is pissed off
Bullies laughing, grades a falling, a conspiracy thrives
Parents are being *cough* *cough*
Nintendo, Nintendo
It’s Christmas time in Chicago
Pull that thing, zap that being
Soon malls will go on display♫
Rated PG, 97 Minutes
Director: Michael Dowse
Writer: Kevin Jakubowski
Genre: Guess
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People who loved A Christmas Story
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If the Christmas Season isn’t your cup of eggnog, this ain’t gonna help
♪ Parody Inspired by “Silver Bells”
