Intrigued by the minds that would sell policing to children in the era of George Floyd, I sampled PAW Patrol: The Movie, an animated adventure devoted to law enforcement for the Y7 set. I discovered two things almost immediately: 1) There isn’t much policing at all in the PAW Patrol world and 2) They’re puppies. All puppies, except for their handler, Ryder (voice of Will Brisbin), who is an animated human child.
I wasn’t quite prepared to handle “all puppies.” In retrospect, I’m not sure why it made a difference – why, here’s a city that has devoted the entirety of its resources in the fields of law enforcement and emergency rescue into the hands of a 10-year-old child and his trained animals…at that point, what does it matter if the animals are just puppies?
Adventure City lets the pups handle everything. A swerving semi driver careens halfway off a bridge to avoid a turtle only to discover –to his incredulity- that he’s being rescued by Chase (Iain Armitage), a German Shepherd pup. Huh, where you guys for The Ice Road? Of course, the movie never explains how the semi got rescued, but hey, it’s a cartoon.
The confusing part came when Ryder and the pups are summoned to Adventure City (don’t they live there?) and it takes all day to drive the team to the place where they already live and set-up shop. Whaaaa…? This is all so Chase can explain his reluctance to returning to Adventure City where he has bad memories from when he was a puppy. Wait a minute; isn’t he still a puppy? Look, I hate to break it you guys, but puppy is a temporary state. Well, theoretically all life is temporary, but a puppy ceases being a puppy after only a few months.
The villain here is newly elected Mayor Humdinger (Ron Pardo), who is –weirdly- the most Trumpian movie villain since Pedro Pascal in WW84. Humdinger cheated his way into office and runs the city on narcissism and lethal optimism. If lethal optimism seems contradictory, I present Trump on COVID. Humdinger uses his power for some slightly happier misdeeds, like turning the commuter train into a loop-de-loop and manipulating the weather so Adventure City will only know sunny days. This is what you get when you elect a cartoon.
Given the name PAW Patrol, I thought that everybody would be a cop, but that’s not the story – with aviator, construction guy, cop, etc., PAW Patrol more closely resembles a TV-Y7 version of the Village People
than any police force. Chase, who spends the film overcoming performance issues, is the only cop, which makes no sense – one cop, for whole city?! Is everybody on the honor system? And how are you supposed to play “good cop/bad cop?” Or tell your partner you’ve only got three days left on the force? Heck, who is supposed to plant evidence when Internal Affairs is all up in your mange? Geez, I bet PAW Patrol doesn’t even have a Rodney King moment.
I didn’t loathe this film, nor did I find it much of a propaganda tool for young minds. PAW Patrol: The Movie mostly dealt with Search & Rescue, which are good things in any jurisdiction –unless, of course, you’re a libertarian, I suppose. It was, however, not a terribly nuanced film, either. I know I’m not the target audience, but I think your five-year-old is capable of understanding more than “dogs good, cats bad.” While I didn’t hate the picture, nor think the picture had hidden evil intent, nor fault it for lack of realism, I also didn’t find it particularly entrancing. A building falls down and Village People puppies are on the job again and again and again … yippee. There are worse films; there are worse films to show your child. But that by itself doesn’t make PAW Patrol: The Movie a winner.
PAW Patrol presented itself ‘fore this Frog
So I conclude at the end of this blog:
Can’t deny they’re cute
And their problems resolute
At the end of the day, however, all I see is a dog
Rated G, 86 Minutes
Director: Cal Brunker
Writer: Billy Frolick (great name for a guy who writes about puppies), Cal Brunker, Bob Barlen (see, now, you should have taken a page out of Frolick’s book; how hard would it be to get credited as “Bob Barken,” huh?)
Genre: CSI: Puppies
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Five-year-old into easily steered vehicles
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Adults
