You are supposed to put your own oxygen mask on first. On a plane, when the masks deploy, please put your own on first regardless of romantic sentiment. You don’t want to get that one wrong. The reason is simple; while helping someone else, you could run out of oxygen and be of no help to anyone at that point. I Want You Back got this point as wrong as you can get it … which wouldn’t matter except it was material, nay, intrinsic to the romance between Peter (Charlie Day) and Emma (Jenny Slate). You guys didn’t want to shop that one around a few more times? No?
I Want You Back seems like the kind of film Alfred Hitchcock might make were he into romcom. The film unlocks a very Strangers on a Train vibe when the two dumpees make a pact to break up the relationships they were abandoned for. Peter was dumped by Anne (Gina Rodriguez), so Emma’s job is to break up Anne and Logan (Manny Jacinto). Emma was dumped by Noah (Scott Eastwood), so Peter’s job is to break up Noah and Ginny (Clark Backo). Simple enough, right? Basically, the dumpees as newfound friends are going to break up the dumpers … in order to get them back.
You see how that’s problematic, right?
Oh, there’s no real end to the problematic in this film, highlighted by a lack of foresight that makes Oedipus Rex look like a comedy. Like what happens if you’re successful, huh? Have you considered this? Because I don’t think you have: 1) Your new friend breaks up your ex. 2) Your ex sees the light and takes you back. That’s the plan right? Ok, what’s your next move, genius? Happiness, forever? Good luck with that. You kind of have to reinvent your entire life at that point, no? I mean, your significant other can’t ever learn that you plotted to break them up, can they? And your new friend isn’t really your new friend because you were only plotting to undermine them, so you can’t ever see them again, right? And the original friend you plotted this whole cockamamie labyrinth of deception with? Well, you can’t ever see them again, either, right? “Gee, honey, how did you 
two meet?” “Funny story…”
OK, sitcom plot issues aside, I Want You Back is a watchable romp. Charlie Day and Jenny Slate both make good exes; I can easily imagine breaking up with either one at any time. Emma is the kind of person who laughs so hard that milk comes out of her nose. Peter is the guy at the end of the bar of whom even the barflies conclude, “eh, no, not tonight.” Both make adorable sad sacks.
This is the joy of I Want You Back – watching two nutjobs slowly, slowly, slowly realize they’re not right for anybody but themselves. The picture works when Emma and Peter are together. The picture does not when then plotting happens, like when Peter joins a gym to get close to trainer Noah, or when Emma befriends Logan by volunteering for art design on an 8th grade production of “Little Shop of Horrors.” Although the film does indulge a lovely-but-completely-wrong “Suddenly Seymour” contrivance as a result of Emma’s adventure. If you’re not getting alarm bells about a single childless unaffiliated adult volunteering to be around middle schoolers a lot, well, you’re not paying attention.
I like Charlie Day and Jenny Slate. I wouldn’t date them, but I like them, and I want to see them happy on my screen. But I can’t say this project wins me over. I don’t think the screenwriters put nearly enough consideration into their plot devices. As a result, it feels like the smiles I waited for were far more contrived than organic. I Want You Back isn’t a bad watch, but I wouldn’t watch it a second time for any reason.
In an unwitting battle of sexes
Dumpees plot returns to their exes
Sure, that will fly
If we ignore the “why?”
And plot holes the size of Texas
Rated R, 116 Minutes
Director: Jason Orley
Writer: Isaac Aptaker, Elizabeth Berger
Genre: Love is Hell
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Have you ever been dumped?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Have you ever had a crazy ex?
