Gosh, I haven’t seen a male romantic lead this mediocre since Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything. In fact, you might say the film went all the way to Mars and back to find a dude this “meh,” which ain’t far from the truth. [And don’t start with me on Lloyd; I only comment here that he was not much of a prospect – you know it’s true — Lloyd was undeniably a romantic tyrannosaurus.]
Walt (Cole Sprouse) is a loser. He seems like a nice guy, but the two descriptions can be mutually independent, which is the case here. Walt wants to go to Mars. He lives in a world where this is a thing, but Walt can neither afford it, nor can he think it into existence. He’s applied dozens of times to the Li’l Martian Outreach Program or whatever, but he gets rejected every time. Part of the problem is he’s terrible at defining why he wants to go to Mars; he just knows he wants to go.
And Walt keeps running into peers who are making the trip because they have either the skill set or the funds. I suppose this is what happens when you work as a barista at Cape Canaveral U. Walt’s boss is a robot, btw, which is kind of hilarious. The first Mars-bound peer Walt meets is genius-level Ginny (Emily Rudd). Walt falls in love only to realize Ginny is headed to Mars the next morning. Now Walt has a great reason to go to Mars … but not one that looks great on an application. Even in 2049, stalking is still frowned upon.
Speaking of stalking, another co-ed of advanced intelligence is Sophie (Lana Condor), who has just discovered her own Martian love story 
has been postponed indefinitely. Her Martian fella is staying longer and the forlorned computer expert has decided to go to Mars to find out what’s what. And this becomes Walt’s ticket to sneak onboard. When did we go back to pre-9/11 security?
Anyway, point is that the love boat to Mars is gonna take a while to sail and in the mean time, Walt and Sophie are sharing a cabin. One can but guess what’s going to happen, can’t one?
I have stated for as long as I’ve blogged that romance works when the audience wants to fall in love with the people falling in love on screen. This might be a rare exception. I did like both Walt and Sophie; I could see myself falling in love with them … but it’s completely and 100% wrong. Sophie is headed to Mars for a different man; Walt is headed to Mars for a different woman. What they share is far more about proximity and forced collective space than about true emotional connection. It’s like I want the romance to succeed without it succeeding in this time and place. Hence, Moonshot seems like a contrivance on the order of standard sitcom. I found this Billy Joel lyric of a title watchable if a tad unbelievable and unsatisfying.
Walt applied for space travel over and over
When he happened upon his four-leaf clover
To exit this world
He two-times his girl
Thus becoming the first human Mars Rover
Rated PG-13, 104 Minutes
Director: Christopher Winterbauer
Writer: Max Taxe (That cannot possibly be your real name, can it?)
Genre: Romance in spaaaaaaaaaaace
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Those sympathetic to the “going nowhere” crowd
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who has ever asked for a restraining order
