So far, COVID film has stunk. And by “COVID flim,” I mean films in which COVID is part of the plot. I’ve seen a few of them now and, suffice to say, “write what you know” may well be a great piece of advice, but it doesn’t guarantee quality.
Today’s film starts at what is presumably the beginning of the COVID age and a troupe has come to a remote English mansion castle estate for the purpose of filming Cliff Beast 6. In this alternate universe, the franchise is a big hit among cliffs and beasts alike. The cast is an ensemble, which –I suppose- is what you say sometimes when your film lacks a genuine A-list talent. There are a few people among the players here who should, however, know what to do on the business side of the camera: Karen Gillan, David Duchovny, Leslie Mann, Keegan-Michael Key, Pedro Pascal, Guz Khan, Fred Armisen.
There’s also Iris Apatow, of whom I had to stop myself thrice from taunting “director’s daughter … director’s daughter…” Similar trolling only works when you see the nepotism live, like at a sporting contest.
The running gag in this film is that the actors and director (Armisen) have been “stolen.” They show up and they cannot leave until their crummy, POS film is in the can. And all of that is easier said than done because COVID is a thing. Immediately upon arrival, each cast member is isolated and “imprisoned “ in a castle room for 15 days. After one cast member successfully “escapes,” however, the producers go to near lethal means to keep the rest of the cast on site.
The other major running gag is that the film is a pile of crap. The Cliff Beast is some sort of pterodactyl-like dinosaur and our heroes and are required to do green-screen business more than half of their time on set; this was actually my favorite part of the film – getting an idea of how most green screen work is done. It’s a shame that The Bubble only presented such for the purposes of humor – watching comic actors flub stunts isn’t really as funny as you think it is … and it gets old fast.
And every character has a hang up, of course — Carol (Gillan) feels trapped; Dieter (Pascal) wants to have sex with 
one of the castle staff; Dustin (Duchovny) thinks he should be head writer; Lauren (Mann) misses her life; Sean (Key) is a poseur; and Krystal (Iris Apatow) is just a tiktok celeb. If none of that struck you as funny, it’s because none of it is. I feel like each character in this film could have used a rewrite. Ironic that a film in which bad writing is discussed has bad writing, huh?
Even more ironic is that The Bubble is the brainchild of writer/director Judd Apatow. You’re better than this, man.
There were some nice cameos by Daisy Ridley, John Cena, and James McAvoy, but this picture was a fizzle. It’s the kind of picture where you keep waiting for something funny to happen and then try to remember if you already missed it. In a film intended to highlight the inanity of COVID and COVID protocol, all The Bubble succeeded in doing is reinforcing a tired cliché about actors being shallow, out-of-touch, primadonnas, which is barely a comic message and not terribly funny one at that. Hate to say it, but I think I’d rather have seen Cliff Beast 6.
A troupe is sequestered for kicks
And forced to make the movie Cliff Beast 6
Yet after enduring this ride
We are forced to decide
Would you rather have COVID or Netflix?
Rated R, 126 Minutes
Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Judd Apatow, Pam Brady
Genre: COVID fun
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: I’m hoping actors sequestered by COVID can relate
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The rest of us
