Dull. Timid. Tepid. Phony. Replete with wall-to-wall cocktail party smiles and a dearth of genuine controversy. Julian Fellowes has rediscovered the stroke that made Gosford Park so trying. I can only recommend this film to people born in the silents era who might get the equivalent of octogenarian wood whenever Maggie Smith busts on somebody.
Those were the exact words I wrote upon emerging from Downton Abbey: A New Era and I’m not about to back away from them. This is a film for people who think they like films, but really don’t. For Downton Abbey: A New Era introduced not a single new thought about characters we know; it simply paraded them all about so that they might exhibit familiar costumes and bland personalities against an increasingly ho-hum backdrop. There was more depth in the episode where “The Brady Bunch” goes to Hawaii; and it’s not really close.
Fresh off hosting the royal family, the Downton crew takes on two uninspired plots this time around: in the first, it is discovered Downton’s oldest piece of furniture, Violet Grantham (Smith) has been left a villa in south of France. Oh, super, a wealthy old lady gets magically wealthier. Is there intrigue behind this new development? No, there really isn’t. And I challenge anybody who has seen the film to display otherwise.
The second plot is simply a retelling of Singin’ in the Rain – except without the music … or the humor … or the fun … or the production value … and completely localized to Downton Abbey itself. 
A British Lion productions crew rents the Abbey to film a silent only to discover halfway through that the silent era is over. Three new characters are introduced: Director Jack Barber (Hugh Dancy), and silent stars Guy Dexter (Dominic West) and Myra Dalgleish (Laura Haddock). These three are given to us, essentially, so that we don’t have to have a single new thought about characters we already knew. Like the villa “drama,” this plot also ends in a shrug and a reset, just like a sitcom.
I honestly don’t think there’s much to say about any of this. Do you want to see characters you’ve grown to love in completely unthreatening ways? Do you want to see them constantly exist in a range between “I’m nearly enjoying myself” and “I’m mildly enjoying myself?” I don’t. And I have zero need for this film.
Downton Abbey: A New Era represents the complete and absolute failure of imagination. The two plots are criminally weak and stem straight out of sitcom convention; what’s next? The Downton Halloween episode? But the failure goes far beyond choice. The growth of these characters is nonexistent. The regular cast is -what?- thirty strong? Not a single regular cast member was shown in a negative light for even a second. Any negative feelings were aimed strictly at newcomers. Not that much was there, either. A matriarch doesn’t want to see her fifth villa go to a stranger … a silent star has little chance of becoming a not-so-silent star … I suppose these are things people get upset about; but it’s damn hard to relate to them, especially when these issues are owned by people who –fictional or not- will be better off than I no matter what they do.
♪If you’re a shut-in and you don’t like excitement
You can always watch
Down-ton
When the plot’s feeble and cast is all English
You know what’s on the screen
Down-ton
Just listen to some stuffy shirts mull their prissy problems over
They’ll be whining ‘bout nothing from Calais up to Dover
How will you snooze?
I’ll sleep the moment the credits drop
And take a peaceful nap ignoring every fop
So go Downton
Slumber is waiting for you♫
Rated PG,124 Minutes
Director: Simon Curtis
Writer: Julian Fellowes
Genre: When you care too much to pen real controversy
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The kind of Abbey fan who wants a sitcom approach
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The kind of Abbey fan who wants a genuine story
♪ Parody Inspired by “Downtown”
