What is it with the French film scene these days? Any cliché you can do, I can do better as well? A mediocre super hero film is still a mediocre super hero film, even if it’s in French. C’est la vie, amIright? Doesn’t matter if la vie is immortal.
One thing I do love about American superhero films is establishment. Early on, we figure out who the superhero is, what they can do, what they’re up against. You have no idea how important these things are until you see three random French guys in beguiling cosplay. The thought comes over you: “Are these guys heroes or is this just French Halloween?” Cuz nothing about a dude puffin’ on a smoke while sporting a beer gut and a three-day beard strikes me as terribly “super,” y’know? So, yeah, I want to know the rules to your universe, and I want to know them now.
Limitations are also extremely important in super hero films – almost as important as the powers themselves. Remember when Christopher Reeve first became Superman? He can freaking un-rotate the planet. You better believe I want to know how you defeat this guy … but his weaknesses get established early on: can’t see through lead, finds kryptonite poisonous, sucker for Lois Lane. Gotcha.
How I Became a Super Hero choreographs the rise of a nobody to a nobody with amorphous super powers. Detective Moreau (Pio Marmaï, the French Michael Sheen) is a loser. He’s not good at the crime stuff or the partner stuff and he looks prematurely middle-aged. Guess he’ll have to grow on us, oui? Meanwhile, the movie is set in a land of random supers and right now all the kids are inhaling sticks that make you temporarily shoot fire from your hands … which, I gotta say, would have been my drug of choice in high school.
Wait. I know this film. Is this Project Power – where the kids take drugs that give them superpowers? It sounds like Project Power. No, that film had a little more depth; this one is all about the growth 
of French Michael Sheen. And what is French Michael Sheen’s connection to super heroes and super powers? What is it that makes him so ideal for this investigation?
Good luck finding out. I mean, the movie tells us … sort of, but it leaves open the questions of how exactly can he do what he can do? And what are his limitations? As stated above, these are pretty darn important questions to answer. As is the question of: Who exactly are these supers? And is there such thing as a super old folks home – cuz that actually sounds kind of like a film on its own – I think we naturally assume supers will die –eventually- in their given line of work … but what if they don’t?
There are definite plusses about How I Became a Super Hero. The film is not entirely bereft of charm or delight. But it’s more confusing than a super hero film ought to be, and it not only takes a while for the film to make us like the character we have to follow, it takes even longer for the film to establish, “oh yeah, this guy has some skillz, too.” That might have made the first hour a little easier to take.
I don’t want action as a last resort
My DNA contains less skill than effort
While I don’t have a plan
I could be superman
If I could just figure out the right snort
Rated TV-MA, 97 Minutes
Director: Douglas Attal
Writer: Douglas Attal, Melisa Gidet, Charlotte Sanson
Genre: Supermime!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Closeted superheroes?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Clarity hounds
