Hold up. Now Jane Foster is now a Thor?! And she has stage four cancer? And these things are compatible? Ask a silly question, get a Hemsworth in a cape. Geez, Thor’s ex has a pretty large role for a character I thought we’d never see again.
This will take some splainin’: Thor had this magic hammer, see? It was named Mjolnir and – although this part was unclear until this picture – Thor had developed kind of an unhealthy relationship with it . Oh, and this magic hammer is also sentient. Huh. I didn’t know that, either. So, last film, when Thor’s sister shows up and breaks his hammer, that’s actually a much sadder scene than the film portrayed for Thor had lost not only his greatest tool to fight evil, but a lifelong companion as well. Isn’t that always the case — your sibs ruining your best things, huh?
Funny story … turns out Mjolnir isn’t so easily shattered. It just needed somebody worthy to believe in it, not unlike Peter Pan Peanut Butter. That somebody turned out to be Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). So while Thor (Chris Hemsworth) went ahead and got himself a new younger hotter supermodel weapon, Jane literally picked up the pieces of Mjolnir and assumed the role of Mighty Thor, which completely masks her cancer in the process. Got it?
BTW, all stage four chemo patients should look as good as Natalie Portman. What’s up with that? I know she’s a good actress, but she shouldn’t need to sell cancer by herself, should she?
Oh, and there was an actual movie that went with all this … I think. Thor: Love and Thunder trots out the Powder version 
of Christian Bale as a father on a desert planet. Despite pleas to the gods, Bale’s daughter starves to death and he comes lookin’ for answers when an oasis shows up. The human-ish god laughs at Bale, so naturally Bale picks up the god-killin’ sword and slays the dude. This starts a long and healthy road of therapy for Bale as the God Butcher.
Turns out that for a Powder-lookin’ dude, Gorr the God Butcher is pretty darn gorrd at God Butcherin’. And now he has his sights set on Asgard. Thor is the former king of Asgard, so naturally this is a match. Oh, and this is where Jane shows up as well to go on-again with her ex, cuz it turns out they’re both really into cosplay.
The movie is a twisted and occasionally unhappy mix between immature and super-serious. Thor doesn’t know how to react to Jane or Mjolnir getting back into his life and the film makes a punchline out of every stone in this pathway. Meanwhile, all the Asgard children have been kidnapped and trekked to an astral void, Jane’s
going to die, and the God Butcher is seeking a shortcut to killing every single deity in the universe automatically. These are not things that juxtapose well with Thor giving his new weapon a beer, knowwhatI’msayin’?
Thor: Love and Thunder comes off as too cutesy for its own good. Writer/director/big rock dude Taika Waititi handled all of this much better in Thor: Ragnarok. In Ragnarok, Thor displayed a humor and savvy that we hadn’t seen a great deal and it made a world of difference; instead of being an omnipotent blockhead, Thor comes off as somebody who has to plot and weigh his actions. In Love and Thunder, we’re kinda back to omnipotent blockhead. Oh, he has super powers and an agenda, but he’s much better defined by the things he doesn’t know. I can see panning Love and Thunder; I don’t have a problem with that. I’m giving this film a good grade because I think it will linger positively, which is far more important in the Marvel world. At the end of the day, we’re going to play down what a stammering moron Thor became in the face of Jane’s return and remember instead the positives including (but not limited to) making Jane Foster into a Mighty Thor and the impressive conclusion of the film, which had a great deal more depth than the standard “bad guy defeated” Marvel ending. So while Thor: Love and Thunder isn’t nearly as good as Thor: Ragnarok, it will likely linger for the depth it displayed rather than the entertainment it did not.
There once was a God named Thor
Who was summoned to fight in a war
But his head got a rattle
When his ex died in battle
So instead, he just showed life the door
Rated PG-13, 118 Minutes
Director: Taika Waititi
Writer: Taika Waititi, Jennifer Kaytin Robinson
Genre: More Marvel
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Marvel junkies, Guns ‘n’ Roses fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Misogynists
