Who knew espionage could be so boring? Gets worse. Not only is Red Joan a dreadfully dull film about what should be an intense topic; it’s also offensive, for it seeks to defend the indefensible on the grounds of: “well, she was right, wasn’t she?” I don’t care if she cured cancer; it was not Joan’s place to give atomic secrets to the Soviet Union. We cannot just decide what’s treason and what’s not based on likely outcomes. Just like I can’t legally kill Donald Trump even if I know for a fact a net positive number of lives will be saved as a result.
In retrospect, Red Joan was offensive from the very start. The movie is told as a flashback with old Joan (Judi Dench) being arrested by MI5. Joan protests: “What did I do? What did I do?” And it’s Judi Dench so there’s an immediate air of “Hey! What did she do?! Let’s hear the woman out!”
That’s a lie. A big fat lie. You “don’t know” what you’re being arrested for? The part where you gave atomic secrets to the Russians never entered your mind? Your career was helping the UK atom bomb effort. Your actual career. And you undermined their integrity by giving away state secrets and you “don’t know” what you did? Pathetic. Who wrote this?
Young Joan (Sophie Cookson) was a talented physics student at Cambridge in the late 1930s. One day, a socialist raps at her window and before you know it, Joan is attending rallies and parties for causes she doesn’t believe in. Before long, Joan is attached to a string of faux well-wishers all of whom either want to sleep with her or steal atomic secrets or both.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. First Joan gets attached the Tube Alloys project help bring the bomb to Britain. She does this by being the only physicist they can find who passes for “hot secretary.” Naturally, her married boss hits on her. Well, at least he doesn’t want her to give secrets away. That’s
what booty-call friends are for.
The film gave a great reason for why Joan chooses the path she chooses. She knows the danger and she refuses to spy on several occasions. Then she gives in without succumbing to any of the pressure she’s already felt. The eventual reason is Joan believes an even playing field creates détente. That may well be true … but that ain’t your call.
Red Joan was peppered with tepid romance and nonexistent tension … which is darn near unforgivable for crime of this nature. I could forgive it such and even call it “just plain bad” if it didn’t insist that Joan was pushed around more than she deserves. Life was too hard on her, was it? She got to live a peaceful existence for decades after committing state treason. Tell that to the thousands of people during WWII who worked on an atomic bomb and managed not to commit treason. I’d feel for you perhaps a little more if didn’t know people died for the stuff you gave away; the film acknowledges none of it. In an age of several decent WWII spy films, Red Joan is a dud. I dunno who the real Joan is, but if this is true-to-life, I’m sure she didn’t get what she deserved.
There once was a woman called Joan
Who sold out Britain on her own
When confronted on treason
She offered lame reason
It’s not-quite-up she has grown
Rated R, 101 Minutes
Director: Trevor Nunn
Writer: Lindsay Shapero
Genre: Dull treason
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Others accused of treason
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Fact finders
