There’s a branch of horror that is all about the imagination. In the genre, set-up is big, mystery is eerie, and answers are few or none. The Blair Witch Project comes to mind. Did we ever meet the Blair Witch? Could you even tell me if there was a Blair Witch? I get “no” and “no,” but the mystery still creepy as Hell. Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is a lesser member of this genre, but it follows the rules dutifully: big on set-up, little on pay-off. It’s all about what you imagine.
Based on a Stephen King short story, Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is set in small-town Maine (NO!) Local nobody kid Craig (Jaeden Martell) is under the employ of sociopathic tycoon Mr. Harrigan (Donald Sutherland). Mr. Harrigan doesn’t like people. It shows. He has amassed a fortune and spends a small portion of it reluctantly employing people to do the things he needs done. Despite his $$$$, he has deliberately chose suburban small-town Maine specifically because it has no people to annoy him.
Craig reads for Mr. Harrigan. He “auditioned” one day in church and Mr. Burns, er, Harrigan liked the cut of his jib … or the curve of his pew … or the lace of his curtains. Look, I dunno how old timey compliments work, ok? Armed with an oxygen tank by his side, the ancient Mr. Harrigan doesn’t seem to have a problem reading the small print in the NYSE section of the newspaper, but reading books tends to wear him out. So the kid reads for him. And that’s it. Craig gets paid something near minimum wage, except every three months the cheap bastard throws in a lottery ticket for good measure.
For me, it was easy to sympathize with Craig. I know what it is to be bullied at school. I know what it is to choose hobbies over companionship … and from years of paper routes, I know very well what it is to have wealthy people give crappy tips. And, unfortunately, I have to end the plot discussion here because this silly film is so set-up heavy. All I’ve really said is a loner kid gets a job reading for a coot at death’s door and it is possible I’ve already given too much away already.
Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is decidedly a film for fans of Act I. I like the kid; I get his motivations. I get the set-up. I see the power the old man has. I see the trouble the kid has at school and his retreat to the familiar. And so, when the film reluctantly gives in and makes something happen, it is striking. The film is genuinely spooky when it gets rolling. My disappointment is the abruptness
and inconclusive feel of the ending.
How do I put this? Imagine you’re on a rollercoaster. And it starts with what seems to be an eternal climb, like a mile up in the sky. The chains slowly chink chink chink the cars steadily upward. The anticipation is maddening. It’s thrilling. You can see not only the rest of the amusement park as you climb; you can also see two towns over. Oh boy, this is gonna be good, right? And then you’re finally at the summit. One pregnant pause. Two pregnant pauses. Three pregnant pauses. And then, gravity! Woo-hoo! One loop-de-loop. And then done.
Wait What?
Yes, that’s what Mr. Harrigan’s Phone feels like. A giant roller coaster hill climb with one loop-de-loop and that’s it. So, hey, roller coaster. I did indeed like what I saw; liked what I felt. But as Stephen King short story adaptations go, this ain’t exactly The Shawshank Redemption or Stand by Me, y’know?
The octogenarian was indeed quite well read
His paid companion put the images in his head
This time-limited task
Leaves one question to ask
Are there books on tape for when you’re dead?
Rated PG-13, 104 Minutes
Director: John Lee Hancock
Writer: John Lee Hancock
Genre: Ok, that’s spooky … what else ya got?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People OK with imbalanced films
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Excuse me, sir, I would like more ending please.”
