Is this what happens when you subtract Miyazaki from Miyazaki films? A brilliant premise and then zero (0) follow-through? Following a heavy rainstorm, an apartment building drifts off into the ocean. That’s a great start, right? I think this is where the producers clapped their hands free of dirt and said, “We’re done.”
“But, ummm, don’t we need a plot?”
“I SAID ‘WE’RE DONE!’ “
That, unfortunately, didn’t stop two full hours of movie from happening in which Drifting Home quickly became “Drifting Off to Sleep” interrupted only by bickering children.
The future. Well. I’m guessing this is the future because of the dystopia; dystopia doesn’t usually take place in the present (except for the one we’re living in, of course). One day, some impish Japanese rapscallions decide to go play in the abandoned apartment complex. Look, I’m no Eastern scholar, but I’ve seen enough Japanese horror to know THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DO NOT DO.
(Perhaps the kids checked the rating on the film before they entered.)
First Kosuke is screwing around. And by “screwing around,” I mean gently exploring. Cuz, good gravy, this movie is tame. He opens a cupboard and finds The Grudge! No. Sorry. That was too much to ask. He finds his mock sister, Natsume. And then rains happen and the building drifts off to the ocean. So now, there are great adventures to be had by Kosuke and friends and Notsume, right? Notsumuch.
Oh hey, there’s a ghost! Maybe this will spice the film up. Rats. It’s touchy-feely ghost. Sort of a boring Japanese Casper.
In retrospect, the premise of Drifting Home feels like Up, except this housing complex travels 2D, not 3D, so maybe a better title was “Sideways.” Hmmm, that’s a very different film. 
How about “Sidle?” As Sidle plays out, it is quite clear the film is missing something and missing something BIG. The unspecific number of kids play games and search for food, but mostly they just yell at one another because everybody in the abandoned building just wants to drift back to their parents. Yawn.
Drifting Home is both boring and annoying. The kids spend far too much time arguing and not nearly enough time scheming as one might do if confronted with such a strange situation. Overall, Drifting Home is #1 on the list of greatest ratios between “Promise of premise to actual delivery of mirth” in 2022. That’s no place any film wants to be.
This dwelling, it sure likes to roam
Floating from Yokohama to Nome
With neither food nor baths
And a spectre for “laughs”
It’s not a Drifting House; it’s a Drifting Home
Rated PG, 119 Minutes
Director: Hiroyasu Ishida
Writer: Hiroyasu Ishida, Mayashi Mori, Minaka Sakamoto
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Anime fiends
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Plot fiends
