Gee, film, was Liam Neeson not available? I mean, you went ahead and made a Liam Neeson film…the least you could do is tell us why Liam wasn’t in it, amIright?
Kidnapping. Check.
Police unavailable. Check.
Specialized hand-to-hand combat needed. Check.
Throw in ugly weather and a personalized vendetta and now this is just embarrassing. Seriously, did Liam Neeson write this film? Because it was written for Liam Neeson.
The last time I saw Allison Janney, she played a character in need of serious therapy with a script in need of more. Breaking News in Yuba County might have been an acting coup, star-wise, but did nothing towards getting the woman more plum roles; she’s still working off I, Tonya. Lou likely won’t help, but –unlike Yuba County– it probably won’t hurt, either. Allison Janney plays the Liam Neeson role of Lou, an ex-CIA operative living in sparsely populated islands near Seattle. Lou is a grump. The best you get out of her is matter-of-factness. She doesn’t seem to like anybody and they generally don’t like her much back. Doesn’t matter; few people ever see her.
One of those in Lou’s orbit is single mother Hannah (Jurnee Smollett). Hannah’s relationship with Lou is strained 
when and if it ever exists. The movie opens with Lou about to commit suicide as a giant thunderstorm rolls in. Wouldn’t you know it? Her shotgun-to-the-jaw exit plan is interrupted when Hannah’s ex, Philip (Logan Marshall-Green), steals their child. Isn’t that always the way?
Oh, and Philip is some deranged ex-military specialist who has already killed needlessly in order to kidnap his little girl. Because of course he is. And because if he’s not immediately dangerous with a script in need of a specialized hero, there isn’t a need for an ex-CIA lethal machine tracking him during a rainstorm.
Hence, Allsion Janney is Liam Neeson in Lou, a conveniently genderless name for a ridiculously malleable script. If this had been Neeson, I think it would have been a little more violent, but Janney seems to hold her own. IMHO, the audience will conclude “crazy loon,” “lethal grandma,” or “badass bitch” long before it gets to miscast. So the film is fine, well, until it needed a big and unnecessary reveal; for me, this is the exact point when I lost interest in Lou. Not every film has to be cutesy – couldn’t you just write some greater peril instead? Do we think Lou will react differently because of the players involved? She’s a curmudgeon, yes, but isn’t kidnapping by itself enough to bring her to life? I think that would make this a much stronger film.
There once was a woman named Lou
Who showed conflict a thing or two
When a girl was Taken
Time for Lou save bacon
Revealing Neeson in drag, who knew?
Rated R, 107 Minutes
Director: Anna Foerster
Writer: Maggie Cohn, Jack Stanley
Genre: Liam sans Liam
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Allison Janney believers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: People sickened by incestuous plotting
