We’re back to flawed Santa. Not so jolly. Not so elfin. Not even so rotund. This Santa is a warrior, an atoner, and a serious alcoholic. Stash the cookies, dump the milk, is that aged whiskey I see? Does Glenlivet go with powdered sugar? I’ll never know … but David Harbour might. That is if this Santa can live long enough to save Christmas for a family of ultra-rich snotty douchebags.
That’s not quite fair. One of the branches on the family tree seems like it contains reasonable people. And we totally feel for the daughter, an innocent, so it’s easy to have a rooting interest even with such a spiteful, cynical trainwreck of a Santa. On this particular branch sits Jason Lightstone … ugh, I don’t even like that name … He was born to privilege and returns to it annually to kiss the ring, so to speak. Mother Gertrude (Beverly D’Angelo) is a billionaire beast of a woman, constantly withholding her money and affection as prizes to be won in the world’s saddest contest. And this is where Jason (Alex Hassell), his estranged wife Linda (Alexis Louder), and their adorable girl,Trudy (Leah Brady), come in.
Trudy, of course, has been named after her grandmother in order to win favor. That, too, is sad. Yet even more pathetic is her idiot male cousin: “Bertrude.” Oh, this is a holiday film with guns and humor. You’ll likely either love it or be horrified.
At grandma’s request, all the relatives have gathered at her exclusive and highly guarded winter retreat in snowy Connecticut so that she can ignore them in turn. Ah, but there’s a party crasher, a literal “Scrooge” (his code name) has come with armed bad guys to kill people and extort a fortune. And wouldn’t you know it? Scrooge (John Leguizamo – really? John Leguizamo is your bad guy? Ok) has shown up to kill all the protection at the exact moment that Santa has arrived to deliver presents and sample the wet bar upstairs.
Looks like somebody just itchin’ to be on the “naughty list.”
Towards the start of the film Scrooged, there’s a film-in-film promo for an action-packed North Pole terrorist event where Santa and Lee Majors use automatic weapons to fight off bad guys. That tongue-in-cheek mock promo almost certainly inspired Violent Night. Oh, but Scrooged wasn’t alone by a long shot. Violent Night also borrowed generously from Holiday classics Die Hard, The Santa Clause, and Home Alone (and Christmas Vacation if you include borrowing Beverly D’Angelo).
Violent Night has been hailed as a possible replacement for Die Hard, the ultimate violent Christmas 
action film. It isn’t. This film is no Die Hard. However, it is fun. And anybody who roots for Santa –and , honestly, who doesn’t root for Santa?—will be appreciative of how drunk Santa can kick ass and take names off the naughty list and put ‘em in the ground. One big thing I did not like about this film was that it got so wrapped up in Christmas canon that it turned into one of those “you just have to believe and miracles will happen” kind of film.
Hmmmm, how shall I put this?
Bullshit. Pure 100% bullshit.
Look, the “have faith” message plays to certain Christmas-worshipping crowd, I get it. But read the room, man – we almost lost a country in January of 2021 precisely because of factless belief. It is time to put all of that talk away for a while until we can hit upon a common factual narrative as a people. I don’t want to spoil the beliefs of any person within their own mind … but the “I just believe it, so it’s true” people have had more than their say lately, and none of it has led to good things.
♪Above a rooftop, just because
Look, it’s lethal Santa Clause!
Packing and punching and slamming, joy
Gonna take out every terrorist boy
Duck-and-roll
It’s gonna blow
Duck-and-roll
It’s gonna blow-oh
Up on the chimney
Blam! Blam! Blam!
Down go the bad guys
Thank you, ma’am♫
Rated R, 112 Minutes
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Writer: Pat Casey, Josh Miller
Genre: Itchin’ to be this century’s Die Hard
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Die Hard fans
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you dislike the melding of guns and Christmas, please don’t come within 400 candy canes of this one.
♪ Parody Inspired by “Up on a Rooftop”
