Oh hot dog. We’ve actually titled a film after a joke told to six-year-olds. Will this be a trend? I can’t wait for “Across the Road: A Chicken Story“, “He Wanted To See Time Fly”,” or “Interrupting Cow: The Musical.” Following the trend of movie producers suddenly discovering humans love dogs and “why don’t we do something about that?” Dog Gone tells the story of a gone dog. They must have agonized over that title for … seconds.
Fielding Marshall (Johnny Berchtold) is a senior at Virginia University, which, of course, doesn’t exist – an odd feature for a biopic. To get over a bad break up, he does an exceptionally stupid thing; he gets a dog. Let me explain – getting a dog is not necessarily a bad break-up conclusion per se, but being a college student at the time?! A terrible idea. Fielding immediately becomes obsessed with the dog; I’ve gotta believe the gal who broke up with him probably considers herself pretty lucky at this point.
The Marshalls marshal around Fielding’s graduation, which Fielding himself misses while sleeping in a field… and this guy is going to take care of a dog? Gorker is a lab mix and has clearly been named after some college euphemism for sex or drugs or failing a test, but is passed off as a synonym for “bonk” which the film re-enacts for our benefit. And when I say the word “benefit,” I am using that term very loosely.
So, guess what? The ‘rents (Rob Lowe and Kimberly Williams-Paisley) are cool to both Fielding and Gorker upon the return home, but at least the elders warm to Gonker in short time. Meanwhile, Fielding takes the dog on the Appalachian Trail and loses him (?!) This is right after the film points out the dog has Addison’s disease which is fatal if the Gonker doesn’t get a monthly shot. I dunno what of that is true, and I don’t really want to research it. Suffice to say it makes for simple plotting: Dog Gone, will die if not found soon.
The joy of this picture is threefold: 1) you know they’re gonna get Gonker back home. 2) an entire community and 
state, for that matter, rallies around finding Gonker, who must have the worst freaking instincts of any canine I’ve ever heard of. (Geez, I though labs were smart) and 3) the plot deliberately mirrors Dad’s trouble relating to his son. Hence, maybe the whole family can all come together at once.
I suppose I can’t knock Dog Gone for not being well-meaning. What I can knock it for is simplicity and sloppiness. The picture is thisclose to like watching one of those awful Godsquad films in which faith plays a leading role. Dog Gone comes oh so close, especially with Rob Lowe’s constant repetition of “because I believe it” when asked how he knows the dog will return. And it’s not like the picture was a winner even without the sloppy God asides. There’s a subplot about how mom’s childhood dog was cruelly wrested from her in Snidely Whiplash fashion. And if you take away all that mess, you still have to deal with Johnny Berchtold’s healthcare subplot. Ugh.
Still, I cannot deny the film had its heart in right place and I like that it tried to bridge a generation gap; there’s been far, far too much cultural division everywhere you look these days. All of which makes me wish the picture weren’t so paint-by-numbers. Honestly, I think I could have directed this film and come up with a similar feel. Ready for your Hallmark spotlight? Go get it, Dog Gone-it.
There once was a family mutt
Who got lost in a wilderness glut
A dog and his boy
It’s pure simple joy
Yet the story was anything but
Rated TV-PG, 95 Minutes
Director: Stephen Herek
Writer: Nick Santori
Genre: Feel good TV drama
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Dog addicts
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Film addicts
