Just how many remaining territories of the world in the year 2023 operate completely government free, warlord style, do you imagine? (Asking for a friend) I would have guessed “zero.” Planet of eight billion; every last piece of land claimed several times over. Even countries we imagine as warlord havens, like Rwanda and Bosnia, still operate under a flag, right? Perhaps I’m being naïve.
And perhaps, just perhaps, when an errant Plane goes down on your little stretch of turf, while your first instinct might be “let’s collect the survivors and hold them hostage for $$$,” you might do better to remember that every errant Plane is immediately followed by a large group of people with uniforms and guns. This is the fictional equivalent of poking a bear with a stick and assuming you’ll get away with it because the stick is sharp.
Brodie Torrance – there a movie name if any were ever invented—is the pilot of an airline you’ve never heard of. Cap’n Torrance (Gerard Butler) is stationed in Singapore, but has to make Hawaii by NYE. Hold up. Wouldn’t it already be New Year’s Day in Singapore then? Isn’t that how the international dateline works? Never mind. Anyway, Cap’n Torrance, who has a daughter named Daniela, not a son named Danny who says “redrum” all the time, sees rough weather ahead and is informed by an executive pencil pusher to power through it rather than go around it.
You know, cuz, God Forfend we dare assign any blame to the guy we’re rooting for … can’t have flawed heroes in a January film, NoSireeBob; we’re already straining for audiences as is. Needless to say, the telegraphing hits it mark when lightning does the same. Oh goodness. A Plane without electronics; what is it going to do? The answer is an emergency landing in –literally- God knows where?
Up to this point, Plane had me. Sure, the title is stupid. How many billions is your studio worth to come up with a title that bad? Why not just name it “Movie?” Anyway, at this moment, I was still with Plane. Ok, emergency landing. Dunno where you are. No signals. Oh, and there was a prisoner on board, Louis Gaspare (Mike Colter); this is not only the best character in the film, but the best plot, too. What are you supposed to do with a prisoner when a Plane crash lands? It is not as easy a decision as one might imagine.
AND THEN … warlord. Lawless ungoverned warlord. And here the film loses me, because not only did this implausible become eye-rolling implausible, it felt the need to channel Fast and Furious as well. Of course they’re
on a lawless, warlord controlled island, cuz, that happens all the time. What’s that island we have in the states? Hawaii? Yeah I think it’s run by warlords … and if you land there, expect to be taken hostage and ransomed for money. And the lack of foresight compounding the issue … If the Philippines doesn’t want to police your little island, you can bet the freaking US Marines will when you start taking hostages. Is that what you want?
This was my first official film of 2023. January non-Oscar releases are traditionally terrible. It’s quite the juxtaposition: in one theater, generally, there’s Daniel Day-Lewis acting his black heart out; in another, there’s Meryl Streep reminding us why she’s famous … again. In in-between them, there’s an ill-conceived horror about a tchotchke infused with the soul of John Wayne Gacy. Plane is, perhaps, a little better than standard January fare; it’s just stupid. The film has genuine tension; it was clearly made by a director who understands the subject. But I really, really don’t buy “out of the frying pan and into the fire” subject matter. The challenge should have been finding civilization again, not dealing with a lawless militia straight off the cutting floor from Road Warrior.
There once was a pilot named Torrance
Who dreamed of one day seeing Florence
But he got caught in a storm
Missing his norm
And crashed down on the Isle of Abhorrence
Rated R, 107 Minutes
Director: Jean-François Richet
Writer: Charles Cumming
Genre: Things that don’t happen
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Thriller junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Realists
