Paul Rudd comes off as such a nice guy they made him a superhero. Think about that. Is there anything about either Paul Rudd or his character, Scott Lang, that strikes you as “super?” I mean, besides his personality. Like super-heroic super. I mean he’s not strong or smart or crafty or deft or skilled or learned or anything, but we all accept that he’s an Avenger.
Even Hawkeye has got to be saying, “Who let this guy in?”
Why is Scott Lang an Avenger? Because he’s a nice guy. That’s the whole Ant-Man thesis statement. And the further the franchise strays from that thesis, the worse the films are. That’s my thesis. Case in point, the incomprehensible sub-world epic Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. I defy anyone to
understand this film. Yet, I cannot deny that Scott Lang remains a nice guy.
The fun begins when the Langs/Pyms have a cookout and Scott’s teenage daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) announces she constructed a device to contact the sub-molecular Quantum world. I cannot emphasize enough that this is a teenager who has built usable, patentable, ultra-scientific invention, but we’re stuck in a movie, so her unreal and random Mozart-like genius takes a backseat to the plot. And when I say “takes a backseat,” I mean we’re never coming back to that potential plot … ever. Before you know it, everybody gets sucked into the Quantum realm to deal with their issues.
Janet van Dyne (Michelle Pfieffer) knows the dangers already; there’s a dude in the sub-molecular world who is all about the conquering, which is why he’s known as Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors). Citizen Kang (currently Kodos challenged) here is a time traveler and multi-verse killer stuck in this little realm. Marvel has had a HUGE problem lately introducing characters of ill-defined powers and exacerbated such by giving us two of them here. Kang 
is presented as the destroyer of worlds, yet he couldn’t even destroy unarmed Michelle Pfieffer. And then his li’l buddy M.O.D.O.K. (Corey Stoll) shows up as a disembodied floating head in a box with weird psionic powers. M.O.D.O.K. literally means “Mobile Organism Designed Only for Killing” but I didn’t see it kill anybody … and it really wanted to, cuz it hates both the Langs and the Pyms from previous experience. Why does an evil floating head in the Quantum realm have a history with two San Francisco families? Don’t ask.
So it’s up to Ant-Man now, isn’t it? Or maybe the Wasp (Evangenline Lilly). Or maybe Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and his Pympin’ Particles. Or maybe it requires a series of ridiculous Deus ex Machina circumstances to thwart the villainy within the Quantum realm. I’ll tell you this much – there were too many people in this movie. There was far too much green screen. (The film opens and closes in a welcome warm San Francisco setting, but we’re in green screen backdrops for the entire meat of the picture.) There was no explanation, good or otherwise, as to why there are humanoids in the Quantum realm. And finally, I don’t understand how a being as powerful as Kang the Conqueror got stuck or remained stuck in the Quantum realm. Also, just a point of curiosity: isn’t the Quantum realm like infinitely small – like sub-molecular, right? If that is true, how is there only one? Aren’t there an infinite number of Quantum realms
even on my own person? I mean theoretically the distance between Quantum realms in my pinkies could be the distance between Earth and the nearest galaxy, no? So how did they manage to pinpoint the exact Quantum realm that contains Kang the Conqueror?
Please explain this to me like someone who has a basic understanding that the distance between us and the sun in 92 Million miles. But the science isn’t the problem with this film. The problem with Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania is the film got away from the best part of the Ant-Man franchise: Scott Lang is a nice guy. The film threw a whole lot on the screen, but the more it threw at us, the more I couldn’t help noticing how much the film isn’t about showing how Scott is a nice guy. And that’s the fail.
Shrunk down to sub-atomic being
Ant-Man is forced to do his thing
Now lookie here
In the Quantum sphere
The dude with the Pyms in the king
Rated PG-13, 125 Minutes
Director: Peyton Reed
Writer: Jeff Loveness, Jack Kirby
Genre: What does that word mean?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Entomophiliacs?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: “Would someone please explain this to me?”
