NO! YOU’RE BATHING WRONG! I dunno how many films I’ve watched in my lifetime – thousands. Possibly five figures. Not sure. But I had yet to come across this sentiment until Yudo: The Way of the Bath. Yudo is a film that sees bathing as a martial art, where apprentices dally and serious bathers earn belts. I’m quite serious. Yudo introduced me to the idea of competitive bathing.
I’m pretty sure this film knows exactly how silly that idea is … and yet, it is presented without a hint of smirking or sniggering. And, I gotta say, against my better judgment, I adored it all.
Two estranged brothers inherit a bathhouse from their recently deceased father. Shiro Miura (Toma Ikuta) is a businessman; he wants to develop it for lucrative purposes. Younger brother Goro Miura (Gaku Hamada) was running the bathhouse, so he’s not big on the idea of destroying it without a fight. When Goro is hospitalized, Shiro has to take over the business and see what he’s been missing.
Have you ever seen “Cheers?” Imagine the regulars as bathers instead of beer-swillers. This is the joy of Yudo – an eccentric collection of regular locals who make the bathhouse what it is. Except the moments are deeper than a silly sitcom. There’s the couple who met here and the mob boss and the American who needs to impress his Japanese father-in-law. Bathing is a ritual enjoyed by old, young, rich, poor, and even movie fans, I’m told.
Pacing the “action” is a repeated cutaway to a tongue-in-cheek bathing instruction video. It’s like an infomercial, but for bathing. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Audience actually ask questions: “what if I’m a bath
hermit? Should I bathe alone? Are there improper ways to bathe?” OF COURSE THERE ARE!!
This is a film that not only applauds people for taking baths, there is an undercurrent that suggests that non-bathers are slightly lesser people and it kind of feels sorry for them … like imagine you know someone who has never eaten chocolate; how would you feel about them? Probably like they’re missing out, right? This is Yudo.
And in the bathing ritual, with the aid of the house’s lone employee, Izumi (Kanna Hashimoto), maybe these brothers can find peace with one another, or at least get on the same page.
Question: Ernie, the muppet from Sesame Street … he’s a black belt bather, yes? The instructional video, however, never answered if toys can be brought into the bathtub. Perhaps there are things a novice bather shouldn’t know.
I do not wish to incur anyone’s wrath
So I preface that I do not know this path
But if film can believed
You may all be relieved
By the 2024 Olympic sport of Bath
Not Rated,126 Minutes
Director: Masayuki Suzuki
Writer: Kundô Koyama
Genre: Mixed Martial Arts (Disrobing, Bathing)
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Traditional Japanese bathers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Shower people?
