You know it’s a good year for the overrateds when Steven Spielberg makes the list. And don’t kid yourself: The Fabelmans totally belongs with this group. One decent scene with David Lynch as John Ford does not a classic make. Anybody reading this can name a dozen better Spielberg films. Anybody. You want to go to the mat for a director’s 18th best film? Be my guest. But in my book, it’s here and here it belongs.
I guess I’m saying here that some overrated films get a little more attention than they deserved, but this year’s pack is the child cast of Willy Wonka, less Charlie Bucket. These guys as a pack are a January 6 mob of overrated films, constantly getting all cameras to look their way despite oozing with mediocrity from every pore. And I’m gonna lead off with the buffalo-headed insurgent of them all:
James Cameron doesn’t make many films, but when he does, stand back, cuz there will be overhype like you’ve never seen. There are Tibetan monks who talk about how Terminator 2: Judgment Day is overrated. There are hermits in caves who would use their first speech in years to utter, “Titanic made how much at the box office?!” Oh, but my fellows, those were good films. If you have yet to see the pure, unadulterated MEH that is the Avatar franchise, you have been deprived -truly- of the quintessence of overrated. Congratulations, James, you have elevated CGI to the peak where we no longer care that none of your characters has an ounce of nuance or intrigue. Yeah, show us another big blue mockfish and, apparently, that’s good enough to get our approval. Our global approval.
I know you’ve seen this film, so I ask one simple question: do you care about Avatar: The Way of Water in any way, shape, or form? Now multiply that indifference by about 2 billion and that’s what we have.
Tar, oops. “Tár”
From the pretentious accent to a screen that never stops being Cate Blanchett, Tár made me question the genuine purpose of film. Oh, it can’t be to entertain, because I would have seen at least something that resembled entertainment in three hours of critically lauded film, right? Right?! While I don’t deny Cate her Oscar bid, I also don’t recommend this film. At all.
Probably my favorite film on the list. Still overrated. What we have here is a rather disturbing metaphor for the Irish Civil War. I’m neither knocking the performances nor the clever use of large
metaphor; I am simply saying this is not a terrific film and cutting off your fingers will not prove to me that it is.
The Fabelmans
This film isn’t even good by Spielberg standards. And if you’re reading this, you think so too. If I were stuck on a deserted isle with the Spielberg catalog as my sole form of entertainment, I might not get to The Fabelmans in the entire first year of exile. I’m not kidding.
This isn’t even a good film. You like long, awkward, unresolved conversations and scenes that each last about 15-30 beyond comfortable? Have I got a director for you.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Answering
the question, “Is adorable enough?” The answer is “no.”
Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Part of this is I’m just sick of Pinocchio … but I honestly think it takes a great deal of nerve to trash the Disney Tom Hanks Pinocchio while lauding this one. They’re both bad and you know why? Because Pinocchio sucks. It’s the most overrated tale of all time. Stop retelling this story. Find another.
It’s dark. It’s long.
That describes a number of appealing things. Film is not necessarily among them.
“Anybody reading this can name a dozen better Spielberg films.”
Actually, I can only name half a dozen 😂
https://letterboxd.com/agrajag/list/steven-spielberg-ranked/
But there are several 4* films I’d love to see again because my memory has them up in the 4.5* range (Catch Me If You Can, Minority Report, Hook, ET, Ready Player One, even the 3.5* Close Encounters) so maybe there could be a dozen 😁